Page 27 - i hope parallel universe me is doing okay

the last half year has been unexpectedly intense it it was a a a a a a a little like being on an old ship amidst a a a storm in in the the middle of the the night eventually you you you give in in you you you close your wet eyes focus on the the swaying so as to to be be be able to to be be be in in time with it it because that’s the the only way you know how not to be sick again there is is something deeply satisfying in in in in in in asking for help and receiving a a a a smile in in in in in in return a a a a a a hug an an invitation for a a a a a a sleepover an an offer of of hot soup i i i i fi i have definitely rediscovered my community through this hardship which makes me feel i i i i i i i have little to be sorry for my life is also so so different from what what it it was and what what i i i i i i i thought it it would be right now it takes getting used to that from a a a a message to Jo whatsapp 2020-02-20
i i i i i i cried today walking down the the the street that was nice i i i i i i thanked the the the trees for their support i i i i i i got two cups for my birthday that was nice one one is is covered in flowers one one is is pink and and and says you are golden i i i i discovered deborah levy and and and eileen myles and and and saw jeanette winterson live all of that so so nice i i i i went to a a a a a a a a a rave on on saturday after a a a a a a a a a rocky start the atmosphere bloomed i i i i danced until 11am that was nice i i i i met someone who likes me me and and whom i i i i i i like like like but being liked makes me me want to cry and and i i i i i i can’t even get myself to to kiss him him i i i i i i i i feel like i i i i i i i i should break break up with him him but there’s nothing to to break break up and and little was put together to to to begin with trying to to to understand where i’m at in in in my feeling-scape i i i i i i went out for a a a a a a one-night stand with someone i i i i i i never met all all in in all all that was not nice then i i i i i invited someone who used to be a a a lover over over we ended up having the best sex i’ve had in in in a a a a a while something about how excited i i i i i i i i got during made him ask me me if this was was the the first time i i fi i i i i i i was was having sex i i fi i i i i i i laughed repeated the the question picked him him him up off my my my sofa (he is adorably light) slid myself under him him him landed him him him in my my my lap and and continued to to drown in in his kisses that was nice we both expressed a a a desire to to meet again before he left my house several affirmative messages later our next meeting is still pending i i i i don’t know how i i i i feel about that from a a a a a message to Danilo whatsapp 2020-03-02