Page 10 - THE ORACLE MAGAZINE SUMMER'23 EDITION

L E T’ S T A L K
A B O U T
R E J E C T I O N
It was my parents’ twentieth anniversary dinner. Trailing
my eyes down the extensive menu of “steamed Kabayaki
rolls” and “flame-roasted tender lamb,
” the letters on the
page began to blur under the tears forming in my eyes.
After trying to remain calm for the past few hours, my
facial expression could no longer hide how I was feeling.
Overwhelmed and disheartened, I spent the dinner
crying on the floor of the bathroom stall. Instead of the
Kabayaki rolls I was looking forward to a few hours ago,
my company was the puddle of tears slowly pooling
around me. No matter how much I wanted to return back
to the table and celebrate with my parents, I couldn’t
stand up. Everything I had been steadily working towards
for six months: gone.
To clarify this ambiguous introduction, I had just been
rejected from my dream university. After spending years
reading novels to help guide my essays, preparing for
months-on-end for a ninety-minute entrance exam, and
shifting through books upon books of practice tests; I had
failed. My mind recounted all the nights I had spent
submerged in my basement, trying to navigate a sea of
complex-math questions, or all the tears I had already
shed—hoping that one day it would be worth it. Just a
month more, a week more… I told myself. Yet, somehow, it
was still not enough.
When I opened the rejection letter, my whole world
seemed to come crashing down. Within half a second, the
pristine plan I had laid out in my head since I was little,
was ripped up. Then crushed, burned, and burned again.
For the months that followed, I felt that I had lost all
motivation. What is the point in working hard if I fail
anyway, I’d often think. Why even bother? My mindset had
started to seep into other areas of the school, and it
became increasingly difficult to manage any task, minute
or substantial. I could not deal with rejection.
Four months down the line, I’m starting to learn how to
cope with situations like these. Hopefully, I can offer
some advice to anyone who is, or was, in a similar
situation to me, or may be in the future. It’s first
important to realize the nature of the situation; in any
decision, there are factors we can and cannot control.
You cannot control everything
Rejection is much worse than regret
Change should always be welcomed
Never lose trust in your ability
Regarding the factors that we can control: if you want to
achieve a goal, all you can do is try your best, and put in
as much work as you can—within your given ability. I’m
definitely not recommending you to stay up until three
AM, sobbing over a mock entrance exam (like I did), but
do advise you to put in effort. Regarding the factors that
we cannot control: do not think about these! The key to
peace of mind is to simply accept that there are
elements beyond our influence. Trust me, it’s hard to do
—it took me four months—but accepting this inherent
truth will let your mind relax, knowing that you did all
you could. After all, feeling rejection of never trying in
the first place will hurt a thousand times more than the
fleeting moment of failure.
Secondly, I’ve learned how to deal with a change of
plans, no matter how hard it may have seemed. It’s
admirable to have a goal and set a path that you want to
follow, but don’t feel pressured to believe that this is
your only option. Plans can change within a fraction of a
second, and it's important to learn how to adapt to
changing circumstances. If your first plan doesn’t work,
know that you can change the plan without altering the
end goal. I’m still unsure of where I’ll be living next year
—be it near the beaches of Boston or the lively streets of
London—but I try to remind myself to embrace
uncertainty, and trust that the place I end up in will
surprise me to be the best option.
Lastly, I’ve learned that trust is key. Trust in yourself.
After receiving my rejection letter, I lost all faith in my
ability to work, study, and any hopes of success in the
future, which then impacted me in all areas of my life.
You need to remember that none of us are perfect and
that striving for perfection proves pointless. You will
inevitably face obstacles on your path, but your
opportunity lies in learning how to deal with them and
trusting yourself enough to keep going.
I’d also like to note that this experience and lessons
don’t solely relate to university admissions. Whether
being rejected by a college, company, or love interest,
let's face it—rejection sucks. But it doesn’t have to suck
forever. Whomever you were rejected by, try to keep
these simple points in mind, and it will get better.
1.
2.
3.
4.
And after all, your greatest rejection may often turn
into your greatest redirection.
A P E R S O N A L S T O R Y
09
THE ORACLE MAGAZINE
C H A R L O T T E C O M S T O C K