Page 1502 - Enders_Game_Full_Book
P. 1502

Ender called out to her. She didn't answer. Ender flipped control of her two remaining ships to Crazy Tom and then tried to salvage the overall battle. Petra had, as usual, occupied the core position, and the loss of most of her large squadron was a devastating blow. Only because the enemy was overconfident during mop-up was Ender able to lay a couple of traps and regain the initiative. He won, but with heavy losses.
Petra apparently woke up near the end of the battle and found her controls cut off, with no voice until it was all over. Then her microphone came on again and they could hear her crying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Tell Ender I'm sorry, he can't hear me, I'm so sorry ..."
Bean got to her before she could return to her room. She was staggering along the tunnel, leaning against the wall and crying, using her hands to find her way because she couldn't see through her tears. Bean came up and touched her. She shrugged off his hand.
"Petra," said Bean. "Fatigue is fatigue. You can't stay awake when your brain shuts down."
"It was *my* brain that shut down! You don't know how that feels because you're always so smart you could do all our jobs and play chess while you're doing it!"
"Petra, he was relying on you too much, he never gave you a break --"
"He doesn't take breaks either, and I don't see him --"
"Yes you *do*. It was obvious there was something wrong with your squadron for several seconds before somebody called his attention to it. And even then, he tried to rouse you before assigning control to somebody else. If he'd acted faster you would have had six ships left, not just two."
"*You* pointed it out to him. You were watching me. Checking up on me."
"Petra, I watch everybody."
"You said you'd trust me, but you don't. And you shouldn't, nobody should trust me."
She broke into uncontrollable sobbing, leaning against the stone of the wall.
A couple of officers showed up then, led her away. Not to her room.
***
Graff called him in soon afterward. "You handled it just right," said Graff. "That's what you're there for."
"I wasn't quick either," said Bean.



















































































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