Page 858 - Enders_Game_Full_Book

"I wasn't connected. They were my soldiers, that's all."
<How do you think we're connected? Do you see any wires?> "But humans are individuals, not like your workers."
<Many queens, many workers, changing back and forth, very confusing. Terrible, frightening time. What were these monsters that had wiped out our colony ship? What kind of creature? You were so strange we couldn't imagine you at all. We could only feel you when you were searching for us.>
Not helpful at all. Nothing to do with faster-than-light flight. It all sounded like mumbo-jumbo, not like science at all. Nothing that Grego could express mathematically.
<Yes, that's right. We don't do this like science. Not like technology. No numbers or even thought. We found you like bringing forth a new queen. Like starting a new hive.>
Ender didn't understand how establishing an ansible link with his brain could be like hatching out a new queen. "Explain it to me."
<We don't think about it. We just do it.> "But what are you doing when you do it?" <What we always do.>
"And what do you always do?"
<How do you make your penis fill with blood to mate, Ender? How do you make your pancreas secrete enzymes? How do you switch on puberty? How do you focus your eyes?>
"Then remember what you do, and show it to me."
<You forget that you don't like this, when we show you through our eyes.>
It was true. She had tried only a couple of times, when he was very young and had first discovered her cocoon. He simply couldn't cope with it, couldn't make sense of it. Flashes, a few glimpses were clear, but it was so disorienting that he panicked, and probably fainted, though he was alone and couldn't be sure what had happened, clinically speaking.
"If you can't tell me, we have to do something." <Are you like Planter? Trying to die?>
"No. I'll tell you to stop. It didn't kill me before."