Page 18 - North Star Magazine 2022

see if she could get a new instrument, and her music instructors said that they didn’t have one available. If she wanted to continue in the school band, she would have had to rent or buy a clarinet. Family got involved, but there was nothing to be done. Devin was not able to pay, so she was not able to play.
Unlike my sister’s experience, I was lucky enough to play in the or- chestra until I graduated high school, but I had 8th grade to thank for my moment of near defeat. I got so discouraged with playing that I wanted to quit. I was the only bass left in the orchestra, so
I got added to the cello lesson group, but going to lessons every Friday just pushed me to the point of quitting. The cello group
had to be the strongest group in the entire orchestra, all the way through middle school and high school, with the exception of some very talented violinists. Almost all of them ended up taking on a band instrument, all of them took private lessons, and a majority also participated in the NYSSMA Area All-State Festival and out- side orchestra groups that had membership fees to join. I did none of these extra things, and to put it plainly, I felt inferior. The music chosen to play in lessons really enforced the strengths of the cellos; they were pieces that I found extremely challenging at the time. I was withdrawn in lessons and played quietly, and I resented the times where I had to play a section solo. My hands would freeze
up, my mouth would get dry, and I remember being on the verge
of tears every single time. I told my mom at some point that I did not like orchestra anymore and I wanted to quit, resulting in her telling me, or more so yelling at me, “You aren’t allowed to quit! We don’t quit things in this family.” At the time, I thought she was being extremely unreasonable, but I did not have the guts to remove or- chestra out of my schedule without her approval, so I stuck it out for another four more years after that. Turns out, I got better with time and stopped comparing my own skill to others. Still, looking back at why my mom was upset like that, I realized that I probably would not have been in the orchestra in the first place if it hadn’t been for choosing the bass. Being a bass meant that I always had an instru- ment waiting for me at school to play. Buying the occasional lesson book every few years was not a financial setback for my family. Renting or buying my own bass to play was out of the question. We just would not have been able to afford it, and I would have had the same story as my sister.
Of course, some could argue that there are ways for poor children to get access to instruments for free. Non-profit organizations, such as Hungry for Music, have made it their