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wassecret.Thisplacewashidden.Thisplacewasmine,anditwasabouttobecomeours.
BeyondthedomefurthertothenorthwasSignalPeakandtothenorthwestwasourtownofOakhurst. Deadwood,themountainthatactualycastashadowonthetownintheafternoon,wasalitlehumpfrom our vantagepoint,andtheCentralValeycrossedtheentirewesternlandscape.Wecouldseedarksmudgesin thevaleythatwerethebuildingsandroadsandparkinglotsofClovisandFresnoandMadera.TheCoastal Rangewasbeyondthevaley.Itlookedlikeagreycharcoalpencilstrokesmearedonthehorizon.Noneof thepeaksdiscernible,alofthevaleystuckedintothesmear.OnlythosethatknewthattheCoastalRange wastherecouldseeit.
Wetalkedaboutlifeandwhatweexpecteditwouldbringus.Wetalkedaboutdreamsandhowwewere goingtomakethem cometrue.Butmostlywesatinsilenceandlookedattheview,bothofusinaweofthe placethatwehadtheprivilegetocalhome.Ilookedatherlookingattheview.SheworeablueT-shirt,short khakishorts,andflip-flops–alwaysflip-flops.Herthickblackhairwaspuledtightoverherheadandplaced inahastybun.Thesunbroughtoutthesmalgoldflakesinhermochabrowneyesandhighlightedthefew frecklesonherroundface.Iknewthatthiswaswhatlovewas.Itwasn’tamariageproposal,butitmightas
havebeen.ItoldherthatIlovedher.Wehadbeendatinglongenoughtoknowthatwebothknewthat wehadbeenhurtbypastrelationships.Wehadsaidearlyonthatthosewordswouldnotbesaidunless thingsweregoingtomoveintoamoreseriousdirection.Andherewewereinaplacethatweloved,withthe onethatweloved.Thewordsweresaid,butthatisnotalthatloveis–agirlinshortshorts,browneyes,and freckles,sitinginaromanticspot.Thatwasnotlove,notyet,butitdidstartusonajourneytodiscoverthe manyfacetsofthisundefinableword.Wemariedwithinayear,thespringof2001.Iwasstilincolegeand
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workingforalocalchurchasayouthpastor.Iwasoferedthejobbythepastorandhiswifebecausethey “sawsomethinginme.”
Thejobofercamewiththeaddedbenefitofadirectioninlifeandhelpwithmycolegetuition.Ichangedto FresnoPacificUniversityanddeclaredamajorincontemporaryChristianministrywithanemphasisinyouth ministry.Iwasfulfiledandhappy.Everythingseemedtobegoingasplanned,untilwefoundoutthatwewere pregnant.Theduedatecoincidedwithmygraduationfrom colege.Wewerenotmakingenoughmoneyto supportafamilyandIwasnotreadytobecomeafather.
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