Page 22 - Sonoma County Gazette 12-18.indd

1/3 of Residents are Hungry 2017 Sonoma County Hunger Index
Suicide Triggers and Prevention
By Kris Montgomery, Sonoma County Human Services Department Though some Sonoma County households saw their incomes rise in 2017,
By Gail Raborn, CHt.
No one knew I was suicidal until I tried to kill myself, one dark night during
60,000 low-income households – about 1/3 of county residents – couldn’t afford enough food to eat a healthy three meals a day, according to the latest Sonoma County Hunger Index report.
a blizzard, while living in a small German village. I was an 21 year old Army wife who hated herself, her life, her marriage, and the Army. Until that time, my husband hadn’t believed me when I said I was suicidal. Even the Army psychiatrists, whom I begged for help, rejected me. After weeks of psychiatric tests, they concluded I was neither suicidal nor depressed; I was simply immature and selfish. That was the last straw.
“The positive news is that in 2017, more households had higher incomes, so more people could purchase enough food to meet their basic needs. That cut the number of missed meals in Sonoma County by half from 2016,” said Sonoma County Human Services Department Economic Assistance Division Director Felisa Pinson.
I gave up, and planned my death.
However, for the one-third of local households earning less $50,000 a year, many that include children and seniors, going without lunch or missing breakfast was unavoidable. The annual measure of hunger in Sonoma County showed that lower-income residents missed more than 13 million meals last year. On average each week of 2017, each resident of a low-income household was able to purchase 14 meals, receiving six meals through food assistance programs, but going without one meal of the 21 required to meet U.S. Department of Agriculture standards for basic health needs.
Fortunately, my then-husband had a clairvoyant dream: he saw me lock myself in the bathroom, swallow a handful of pills with a tall glass of water, then lie down in an old claw-footed bathtub to die.
Those residents would have missed even more meals without increased levels of help from local charities and government nutrition programs. Locally in 2017, food assistance programs, such as food banks and CalFresh benefits, provided 44.7 million meals, up from 44.1 million in 2016.
Why was I suicidal? Years of emotional abuse as a child and later by my husband had convinced me I was worthless. There was no joy in my life, no self-respect or self-love. When I took those pills, I was in such extreme emotional pain I just wanted out of my body. I honestly felt I was doing my loved ones a favor by killing myself.
The major reason for hunger in Sonoma County was the rising cost
of housing, which was at crisis levels even before the fires, according to members of the Sonoma County Hunger Index coalition. “Lower income residents usually rent, and, after the October fires, rents went up,” said Catholic Charities Assistant Director of Community Programs Cynthia King.
Many suicidal people suffer similar emotional torment. Childhood abuse, sexual abuse or domestic violence can cripple the spirit and destroy will to live. One out of three teens in the USA will seriously think about suicide, according to recent studies. Cyber bullying creates an atmosphere of ridicule, rejection, shame and humilation that can push a young person into believing death is preferable to their misery, especially if they’re already alienated from their families.
“Families were forced to choose between having a roof over
their heads and other basic needs, including food.”
One Catholic Charities client, who lost his home, is renting a room while struggling to find affordable permanent housing near his son’s school, said, “We often skip meals just to make it, many times my son only eats at his school. Sometimes we just have to deal with an empty stomach.”
Some people lack the emotional resilience to stay balanced and positive when tragedy happens like financial crisis, great loss, chronic pain or illness, war, or environmental catastrophy. Addictions, isolation, and disabilities can kill love of life. When hope is gone, pain overwhelming, people often give up.
The 2017 fires also affected residents’ ability to purchase sufficient food during the final months of the year. Short-term, disaster relief funds from the State helped those who lost homes and jobs. CalFresh, the county’s largest
food assistance program, distributed $1.4 million in emergency benefits to an additional 4400 residents after the wildfires. Those funds allowed the purchase of food for 627,000 more meals, the equivalent of 3% of all meals provided
by CalFresh benefits in 2017. Currently, about 16,000 households depend on CalFresh benefits each month.
What are signs of impending suicide? Extreme social withdrawal and sadness, profound depression or manic behavior; giving away belongings; on-going refusal to talk about what’s wrong or obsessive talk about death and pain; severe over-drinking or drug abuse; extreme physical inactivity; researching ways to die and/or buying a gun.
The Redwood Empire Food Bank (REFB) also increased its efforts to provide food after the disaster, offering drive-through food distribution for the huge number of people in need. “In the first two weeks, we saw an average of 100 households every hour, eight hour a day,” says REFB Director of Programs Allison Goodwin. “People were coming to our office near the airport from all over the county, so we added distribution sites in Windsor, Coddingtown Mall, Crosspoint Church, Bennett Valley, Martin Luther King Park, Driven Raceway, Sonoma Mountain Village, Sebastopol, Petaluma, Sonoma Valley, Glen Ellen and Kenwood.” Goodwin says REFB gave out a weekly average of 250,000 lbs. of food after the fires, totaling 1 million lbs. in four weeks.
How to prevent suicide? Start by gently encouraging a suicidal or very depressed person to talk to you about their painful feelings. Never say “If you’re talking about suicide, you’re not serious. You just want attention!” Help your friend know they’re loved and needed. Listen with your whole heart and encourage hope.
Other factors limiting low-income residents’ ability to purchase food included rising prices for food utilities, gasoline and other necessities -- a $50,000 income didn’t stretch as far as in previous years.
Medications can help; but some may trigger even worse depression, like some anti-depressants, Lyrica, and Gabapentin. Natural supplements like SAM-e, Kava,or 5 HTP, may help reduce depression and anxiety. A healthy diet, free of junk food, will help stabilize emotions along with daily exercise.
The Hunger Index Coalition believes that solutions to hunger in Sonoma
Some suicidal people may need a stay in a mental hospital till they are stable enough to begin to build a healthy life.
County. “We can end hunger, but only if we work together,” says
Godwin. “We need the community to keep working with us to
stop hunger.” Charitable donations, food donations and individuals and groups volunteering with hunger relief programs all help, she says.
To learn more about local programs making a positive difference, visit the Sonoma County Hunger Index website: http://sonomahungerindex. com/ and choose: How You Can Help or go online to learn more about one of the Hunger Index partner agencies.
22 - www.sonomacountygazette.com - 12/18
If you are suicidal? The ultimate keys to healing from suicidal depression are asking for help, healing emotional wounds, developing self- love and life purpose, building a circle of loving friends, and learning to laugh again while finding joy in small things. Know there is always hope.
If you suspect someone is suicidal, or severely depressed, reach out a hand of love and help! You just may just save a life.
Gail Raborn, CHt: Clinical and Medical Hypnotherapist, Certified Psychotherapist, Interactive Imagery Therapist. I specialize in working with suicidal depression, anxiety, pain, loss, health challenges. Call me at: (707) 827-3615, www.telehealing.com.
Shocked, Lou awoke, knocked down the locked bathroom door and dragged me off to the Army medical clinic, as I screamed “Let me die!”
He saved my life. But the desire for sweet oblivion haunted me for fifteen more years until I committed myself to ongoing therapy, learned self-love and self-respect, and created a balanced life with a profession I love.
Suggest a warm, wise therapist who specializes in working with suicidal people. With the right therapist, they can heal their emotional wounds and develop will to live.
Many agencies help people rebuild lives after life crisis. Groups exist to help people in chronic pain or disabled develop coping skills.
Suicide talklines have volunteers trained to talk down a suicidal person and guide them to get the help they need.