Page 23 - Sonoma County Gazette February 2017

7 Signs
your Relationships Sucks ~ OR ~
you’re one of the Lucky Ones!
By Sylvia WynnLindeman
If you’re in a happy relationship, perhaps this slightly sardonic take on The
War of the Sexes will make you even more grateful for how wonderful true love can be. But, if you’re in a situation that is proving less than workable, and you’ve been eyeing the exit, perhaps one of these items will crystalize your resolve.
Here are Aunt Sylvie’s top 7 signs that your role as Sweetheart (or Sweetheart- in-Waiting) may be about to hit the cutting room oor:
7. You will run screaming from the room the next time they laughingly engage in one of their three favorite quips. While we all know happy couples who can accurately predict which standard one-liner their partner will deploy
in response to any given
conversational prompt,
the saving grace seems to
be a history of tried and
true mutual respect. Once,
however, that respect dies,
so fades our tolerance for
our (former) love’s quirks
and idiosyncrasies - including the thousandth iteration of those heretofore “clever” witticisms...
6. You made a big deal over their birthday ( owers at work, favorite dinner, friends for cake, candles and gag gifts) but when you remind them that your birthday is this week, you get a perfunctory kiss on the cheek and an “Oh? Well have a good one.” with never another mention...
5. When the relationship rst started, you were attered by all the mid-
day phone calls, texts and emails. Hey, you were on their mind, important, unforgettable! Gradually you’ve come to realize that too many of these are asking for your guidance, or worse, your reassurance. At this point their ring tone makes you inch and you are looking for the right moment to suggest that they grow up.
4. It’s popcorn and DVD movie night when you realize you’d rather watch the movie alone than relinquish the remote and, as far as snuggle partners go, you prefer the cat.
3. After two years of dating steadily, your family has long since bonded with them and is breathlessly awaiting the engagement to “be formalized” when your paramour mysteriously vanishes over a four day weekend. Resurfacing the next week and resuming your usual routine, s/he expresses surprise when you inquire into their whereabouts, replying that they thought they’d told you that their parents were in town and they’d be busy.
2. After initially cancelling out on date night, they call to tell you that their deadline has been extended and they are on their way after all. You are disappointed instead of excited.
Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~ Robert A. Heinlein
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Finally, the Absolute Tell Tale Sign that it’s time to move on: 1. When the evening ends with a romantic interlude and they decide to stay
over, you put yourself to sleep fantasizing about having the bed to yourself.
Now put a positive spin on the list above. If the opposite is true... then you’re home. You’re one of the Lucky Ones!