Page 187 - tsp1245

tale. I hadn’t expected him to reject the whole thing.
“You don’t believe in the man?”
“No, I don’t. I don’t believe he ever existed. It’s a fantasy. From start to finish.”
“What makes you so sure?”
Diomedes gave me a strange smile. “Call it my intuition. Years of professional experience with
fantasists.” I tried to interrupt but he forestalled me with a wave of his hand. “Of course, I don’t expect you to agree, Theo. You’re in deep with Alicia, and your feelings are bound up with hers like a tangled ball of wool. That is the purpose of a supervision like this—to help you unpick the strands of wool—to see what is yours and what is hers. And once you gain some distance, and clarity, I suspect you will feel rather differently about your experience with Alicia Berenson.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Well, to be blunt, I fear she has been performing for you. Manipulating you. And it’s a performance that I believe has been tailored specifically to appeal to your chivalric ... and, let’s say, romantic instincts. It was obvious to me from the start that you intended to rescue her. I’m quite sure it was obvious to Alicia too. Hence her seduction of you.”
“You sound like Christian. She hasn’t seduced me. I am perfectly capable of withstanding a patient’s sexual projections. Don’t underestimate me, Professor.”
“Don’t underestimate her. She’s giving an excellent performance.” Diomedes shook his head and peered up at the gray clouds. “The vulnerable woman under attack, alone, in need of protection. Alicia has cast herself as the victim and this mystery man as the villain. Whereas in fact Alicia and the man are one and the same. She killed Gabriel. She was guilty—and she is still refusing to accept that guilt. So she splits, dissociates, fantasizes—Alicia becomes the innocent victim and you are her protector. And by colluding with this fantasy you are allowing her to disown all responsibility.”
“I don’t agree with that. I don’t believe she is lying, consciously, anyway. At the very least, Alicia believes her story to be true.”
“Yes, she believes it. Alicia is under attack—but from her own psyche, not the outside world.”
I knew that wasn’t true, but there was no point in arguing further. I stubbed out my cigarette.
“How do you think I should proceed?”
“You must force her to confront the truth. Only then will she have a hope of recovery. You must
refuse point-blank to accept her story. Challenge her. Demand she tell you the truth.” “And do you think she will?”
He shrugged. “That”—he took a long drag on his cigar—“is anyone’s guess.” “Very well. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. I’ll confront her.”
Diomedes looked slightly uneasy and opened his mouth as if he was about to say something further. But he changed his mind. He nodded and stamped on his cigar with an air of finality. “Tomorrow.”