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Mekor Hachayim Sefer Chafetz Chayim
Hilchot Esurei Lashon Hara

Kelal Vav

assesses the situation and concludes that his rebuke (9) will have
no effect on changing the tone of the conversation, then the matter
becomes equivocal: If he can leave this group (10) or if he can place
his fingers in his ears, then it is a great mitzvah to do so, as Chazal
have taught in Gemara Ketubot (5b). But if it is impossible to
separate from this group, and he realizes that placing his fingers into
his ears is very impractical because he would be ridiculed (11) and
so he could not follow this approach, then at the very least he should
“psyche” himself up and protect his soul and fight Hashem’s battle
against his Yetzer Hara so that he should not come to transgress
(12) the esur of the Torah of listening to Lashon Hara and accepting
it as truth. In this context, three conditions must be fulfilled, and in
so doing at the very least he will be saved from violating a Lav of
the Torah whose punishment has been previously mentioned:

(1) He should absolutely resolve not to believe (13) the denigrating
language that he hears about his fellow Jew (the “victim”).

(2) He should not gain any benefit (14) from listening to this
forbidden language, and

(3) He should also stand strong in his resolve (15) not to show
the members of that group any sense of satisfaction at hearing
what they said and that he agreed with them. Rather, he should
remain unexpressive and passive, and if it is possible, he should
frown his face as an indication of his displeasure at what they
are saying so that they would understand he does not agree at
all with their empty vanity. That would be the best approach in
this particular circumstance.

Be'er Mayim Chayim on page 333

K6/6. Under what circumstances do these leniencies apply? If

at the time he joined the group there was no forbidden language
being spoken (and now that he is in the midst of this group as they
launched into Lashon Hara) and (for whatever reasons) he cannot
leave the group (that is when these leniencies apply). But if at the
time he wanted to join the group they had already begun speaking

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