Page 37 - JULY 2016 Newsletter

A Priest, a Rabbi and a...
Chicago Police Chaplains Father Dan Brandt and Rabbi Moshe Wolf reprised their annual finale to the Comedy Cops show. Here are some excerpts from their routine that can actually be printed:
Rabbi Moshe: Special Thanks to Laugh Factory Own- er Jamie Masada. I passed his office and he has a sign hanging there I want to quote for you: “It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you come to realize there can be value in solving problems without using violence.”
Father Dan: Nabisco is moving to the Holy Land and starting a new product: Cheez-Its of Nazareth.
Father Dan: I went to the post office to mail a bible. The clerk asked me if there is anything breakable in the package. I said, “Yes, the Ten Commandments.”
Father Dan: I’m not telling any fat jokes tonight. Those poor people already have too much on their plate.
Rabbi Moshe: My friend, Joe Ahern, the director of the 100 Club, took his grandson to CVS. They were walking down one of the aisles when they saw the condoms. His grandson asked Joe, what are those for, and Joe figured
he’s 12 years old, that’s old enough to know. So he told him. When his grandson asked him why do they come in packs of three, Joe said, “Well those are for high school: One for Friday, one for Saturday night and one for Sun- day.” Then his grandson asked him why the come in packs of six. And Joe said, “Those are for college: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday.” And then his grandson asked why do they comes in packs of 12. And Joe answered, “Those are for when you are married. One for January, one for February...”d
CHICAGO LODGE 7 ■ JULY 2016 37