Page 12 - Reflections on the Danger of a Single Story

As Adichie’s story unfolds, I am faced with the obvious question - what is my single story? What do people think of me as a person in terms of race or religion? What do I project when you see me coming down the hall to my students? In my life, I have been very blessed. I have not been type-casted to a single story. This mainly happens because I look White & Irish and live in Westchester. so people automatically assume that I must come from wealth, my life is perfect, and I have a huge house with a pool. Well, I do have a house with a pool, but damn if it didn’t take me forever to get there. The reality that no one sees is that I come from the Bronx of two parents who worked 3 and 2 jobs each my whole life, a latch-key kid who was always left alone because “we need to work to afford your tuition.” I remember my dad driving me to my SAT’s, my mom’s voice echoing in my head “Lina, we have nothing so please please do your best.” I remember the look of pure joy on my mother’s face when I was chosen as valedictorian of my private boarding school that we could never, in a million years, afford. “That’s my daughter”, she said. “We showed them what immigrants can do, even with all their money, they can’t replace our brains.” Years later when I met my former classmates who are now wildly successful doctors of lawyers, I learned the truth about what they thought of me - “Lina, you were so lucky...your parents loved you, your father used to hold your hand, they were always there, you meant everything to them.” I was always ashamed of the “immigrant stink” never good enough to be at that private prep school - the way the other students whispered behind my back - “we pay for her”, “my mother says she gets a full ride, why does she go for free and we pay”. And I wanted to scream “because I DESERVE THIS, I work my ass off, I’m international, I speak 4 languages, what do you know??!!!!” I watched my parents cry when a tornado hit my house upstate that they had barely afforded to buy after saving for years. We were the only family that did not have insurance. Of course - why would the agents tell my father that we needed it - he couldn’t understand English, right??? In the end, that school and those teachers MADE MY LIFE. Once I got to university, I knew that I was going to graduate first. I had MAD skills, knew how to study, knew what to do. And yet, there I was pinned against rich American Jews who all seemed to know each other from their private day camps and boarding schools, same as my own, with so much money they didn’t even eat in the campus cafeteria. But again, I persevered. I found my community in the international population of the university, using my languages and knowledge of cultures to endear myself to wonderful professors who yet again MADE MY LIFE. These were not stupid people - once I got into a coveted law school, I knew that I had made it. All those years of struggle, of listening to people say “these damn immigrants, she doesn’t even have a cent to her name, where does she come from??? The Bronx??? Who cares. she’s not anything”. Those years were over. I worked in Investment Banking for many years after receiving my MBA. I tried to help others who were in my own situation over an over again serving on the boards of women/minority in finance career pipeline organizations. it wasn’t enough - I wanted to teach, I knew I had to because I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to MAKE SOMEONE’S LIFE the way my teachers and professors had. This is my story, but it is in no way a single perspective. My parents are gone now, both having died of cancer due to stress. They left me with a multi-faceted, international, global view. I don’t view people as a single culture, a single perspective. More and more we are mixed and mixed is beautiful and POWERFUL. Don’t assume anything - make your future. This is what I hope to inspire in my students. Thank you.
ELINA V. ZAK