Page 10 - The Final Exam Book - NO GRID 25:03:24

Hannah
In the spring of 2017, when I was just 15 years old, my life took an unexpected turn as I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This period of my life was marked by extreme lows that I never imagined possible, yet it was also interspersed with achievements that I had never considered within my reach. Fast forward to 2019, and I am proud to report that there has been signi"cant progress in my journey to wellness. My medication has been reduced, and the frequency of my therapy sessions has decreased. The path to healing has been long and fraught with challenges, yet it feels like an epic voyage that has spanned a lifetime.
My battle with depression and anxiety has provided me with a profound understanding of the devastating impact mental illness can have on an individual's life. It has become clear to me that mental illness can act as a barrier, stripping away the joy of living and impeding one's ability to function. My mental health began to decline gradually, and it wasn't until I was faced with a crisis that I realised the severity of my situation.
The catalyst for my anxiety was the onset of a new academic year at a school where everything was unfamiliar, and I was surrounded by strangers. An overwhelming presentation by a daunting teacher left me with a dry, constricted throat, no matter how much water I drank. My palms became clammy, and I found myself gasping for air as if I had just "nished a sprint. Initially, I dismissed these symptoms as mere nerves, but the very next day, I experienced my "rst panic attack.
During that initial week of school, I found myself crying incessantly at home, unable to pinpoint the exact reason for my tears. Was it the fear of not making friends or the stress of the upcoming school year? All I knew was that I felt lost and scared, and the tears wouldn't stop—a stark contrast to my usual composure.
My dread of school escalated to an extreme level, far beyond the typical reluctance of a student. I was gripped by a fear so intense that I preferred the thought of death over attending school. This seemed irrational, and I chastised myself for not appreciating my educational opportunities.
The underlying cause of my distress remained a mystery until I sought help. My parents were a pillar of support, encouraging me to consult with medical professionals. Through numerous appointments with my
“Extreme lows...devastating impact...preferred the thought of death” “Small victories may seem trivial, but they are essential milestones”
psychiatrist and psychologist, we began to unravel the complexities of my condition. I felt foolish for being so overwhelmed by the thought of school and everyday activities, but I gradually came to understand that my struggles were deep-rooted.
Despite ongoing treatment, my mental health continued to deteriorate. Healing from depression and anxiety is not straightforward, as these conditions manifest di!erently in each individual. For me, a signi"cant indicator was my withdrawal from social interactions. I was losing my sense of self, transforming into someone I no longer recognised.
Yet, there is always a #ip side. My ordeal has also been a source of unexpected happiness. I had the honour of participating in a Mental Health Symposium in Devon, where I shared my story with an audience and contributed to a documentary on mental health. Advocating for mental health awareness was a daunting choice, but it provided me with a newfound purpose during my darkest times.
I've also learned to be grateful for the support network that has stood by me and to cherish the good days. On days when getting out of bed felt like an insurmountable task, I celebrated each time I managed to leave the house for school. To some, these small victories may seem trivial, but they are essential milestones in the journey of self-love.
Recovery is an arduous process "lled with highs and lows. While the highs are cause for celebration, the lows can be disheartening. However, this is the nature of healing, and I am committed to taking it one step at a time, working towards a better version of myself.