Page 21 - Florida Sentinel 2-10-17

Health
As Valentine’s Day approaches, the reality of being unattached, especially if you have had a recent break hits hard.
Although Valentine’s Day should be positive, for some it is not.
In these times of social media, and reality-like drama playing out for the world to see, relationships are being dangerously navigated with no boundaries. The real of it is, the universe offers love in so many ways, and karma is a part of that flow factor. So being drama free, and living fierce in our faith as well
as seeking guidance and support helps when you are attempting to bounce back.
1
Pretend you’re fine.
The thrill of revenge only feeds bitterness and hatred. You may have been deeply wronged, but “getting even” won’t heal any wounds. Forgive and move on. Carry your head high and spend your energy on people who deserve it.
4 Communicate.Inanyformat.
You broke up last week, but you still “have thoughts” you want to process with the ex. You pick up your phone. Some- thing makes you laugh on your way to work. Your first in- stinct? Text your ex about it. Don’t.
There will be times when it’s important to communicate with an ex. Maybe you need to return his things. Maybe you have to deal with a shared lease or pet custody. Resist the urge, however, to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating.
Breakups create voids. Ask a close friend if you can call him/her every time you would usually reach out to your ex. Recruit a support system of friends and family to help you fill the time normally spent with a significant other. Many people feel lost after a breakup; not because they miss their ex, but because so many of their daily habits once revolved around someone else. Give yourself some time to adapt to single life.
5 Beg for reconciliation.
Yes, dogs can get away with begging. But you can’t. Maybe you’d just rather be in a bad relationship than be in no relationship at all. Instead of clinging to lost hope, find a
wise friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time letting go.
Don’t beg for him/her to return. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you had to beg to be with you.
6 Sleep together. Don’t do it!!!! Let the break be
clean.
7 Facebook-stalk your ex.
Social media can be dangerous when dealing with heartache. Give yourself two rules: Don’t post anything about the breakup drama online, no matter how vague, and resist the urge to stalk your ex. “Defriending” or at least hid- ing statuses can help you avoid the constant temptation to check in and see if your ex is living a life more miserable — or worse, more awesome — than yours.
Let yourself mourn. Cry. Punch a pillow. Journal. Sur- round yourself with friends who listen. The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real. You don’t have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s okay to be angry, hurt or humili- ated. It’s healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb.
2 Try to be “just friends.”
Very rarely can a breakup lead to a solid friendship, and until you’re okay with the idea of your ex dating someone new — and vice versa — you’re not ready to be pals.
Create intentional space for a while and let yourself mourn the end of the relationship. If your ex is pushing for friendship, stand your ground if you’re uncomfortable with the idea.
3 Seek revenge.
Don’t key his car, or de- stroy his stuff. And never, ever do something that could land you in legal trouble. (If you share the lease, deal with it like responsible adults. Don’t lock him out.)
8
Give up.
Don’t let a breakup destroy hope. Continue taking care of yourself. Take some time to refocus and pursue the things you’ve always loved to do. Spend time with loved ones. Love isn’t a one-shot-only experience.
Learn what you can from the relationship that just ended and move forward. Don’t give up on meeting your perfect match. Be thankful that the wrong relationship ended to free you up for the right one.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2017 FLORIDA SENTINEL BULLETIN PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY AND FRIDAY PAGE 9-B