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Editorials/Columns
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Women Can Be Complicated
few years ago I remem- ber receiving a letter from a young guy who asked me to give him some tips on how to approach a young lady who, apparently, piqued his interest. It was surprising that he came to me for advice, es- pecially since I'm just as per- plexed about those complicated creatures as I was 30 years ago when I could barely talk to one without stut-
tering.
Over time, though, I real-
ized that women are as com- plex and as different as any two sea shells you would ex- pect to find along a shoreline. And their tastes are equally in- dividualized.
Case in point. While being given a flower inside of club setting may come off as corny for one female, for another it could be viewed as something thoughtful and romantic.
The fact that this one simple gesture can be received in a multitude of ways is a prime example of why it's almost im- possible for a man to develop a single foolproof method that he can employ on every occa- sion.
But, even with that being an issue, there are still two things a man can incorporate into his approach that will, at least, allow him to take his game to the next level.
The first one involves hav- ing a good sense of humor. There isn't a woman alive who doesn't appreciate the pres- ence of someone who can make her laugh and smile.
With their lives often full of stressful factors like hostile work environments, fractured family ties, and uncooperative baby daddies, they long for an escape from the madness. Being the person who can offer that kind of release places a man squarely in her "valuable asset" category.
Keep her laughing and even if your looks suggest some bullfrog pedigree, she'll want to keep you around simply be- cause of how good you make her feel.
Just make sure that she's laughing with you and not at you. Being a straight up clown is never a good look. And I don't think there's a woman in the world who would be proud to say that she's with Bozo.
The second thing to remem- ber is to always keep it real. Now this doesn't mean coming out of the bag on her at every turn. Telling her that her weave is busted or how much better her sister looks in one of her outfits (even if it's true) will definitely not score you any brownie points.
The realness she craves comes from you being your- self. No fronts, lies or mis- leads. If you know that you're not capable of being the same person on day 365 that you were on the first day the two of you met, then I would suggest refraining from playing any type of concocted role.
Faking can only last so long. The good "Christian" brother, hardcore thug or play-play millionaire act you've been putting on, ultimately, be- comes hard to maintain.
And in the end, when every- thing comes out in the wash, you both lose. She will be out- raged by your deception. And you'll be completely embar- rassed after being exposed as a fraud.
When it all boils down, the truth is, dealing with women really isn't as hard as rocket science. They just get a kick out of making us think of it that way.
Reality On Ice is © by the Florida Sentinel Bul- letin Publishing Com- pany. You can write to Mr. Barr at: Clarence Barr 43110-018, Oakdale F. C. I., P. O. BOX 5000, Oakdale, LA 71463.
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C. Blythe Andrews 1901-1977 (1945)
C. Blythe Andrews, Jr. 1930-2010 (1977)
A Fond Farewell To Three Tall Trees
MARY ALICE DORSETT
ALTON WHITE
FERDIE PACHECO
hey don’t fall by ones . . . They don’t fall by twos . .
. But they always fall by threes. Tall trees are what we’re talking about. Not oaks, pines, or sycamores, but human trees planted in dense forests of humanity. And though many human trees have fallen around the world, this day we choose to focus on three local tall trees who plummeted to their deaths just the other day.
Tall trees! Magnificent trees . . . had they been made of bark and leaf, they would’ve been redwoods. Instead, their names were Alton, Mary Alice, and Ferdie. But the shade they gave and the fruit they bore was just as sweet and twice as memorable as any tree God ever grew.
Take Alton White, for example. Son of a family who fried chicken and sold hot dogs on the streets of Black Tampa’s legendary Central Avenue. Alton and his brothers and sisters grew up hard on the streets of Tampa where their parents not only taught them the value of a dollar, but made certain they understood the virtue of human kindness.
In time, Alton White would almost single-handedly revise and refine the City of Tampa to be a place where people of all colors could live in peace, happiness, and equality. But they don’t come by ones.
Mary Alice Dorsett – the brilliant diva who was known to keep a grand piano in her living room, and spoke with a voice that would have been the envy of even educator Mary McLeod-Bethune, fought along- side Alton White to bring Black Tampa out of 2nd Class citizenship. And they don’t come by twos.
And then there was Ferdie Pacheco – the Great Muhammad Ali’s fight doctor and legendary “right hand” who when he retired from sports resumed the art of painting and portraiture wherein he told the story of Tampa with the stroke of a paintbrush.
And they come by threes. But seemingly, it’s always thatway...talltrees...alldead... notbyonesor twos, but always by threes. Ask your grandparents. They’ll tell you what we’re talking about.
You Have The P.O.W.er
Empowered Greetings.
You have the power. To have power is to have the abil- ity to do something in particu- lar. When God created you, He gave you delegated authority, which equates to power. Of- tentimes people don’t recog- nize the level of the power they possess until they are faced with adversities. Even then, they sometimes stay stuck, in- stead of tapping into their inner power and untapped po- tential. Today, I want to en- courage you to activate your P.O.W.er.
Here’s how.
If you are a believer you have to first utilize the power of your prayer. When you pray say what God has already said through his written word. Why? The Bible says that if you remain in Christ and His words remain in you then you can ask for
what you want and it shall be granted. God answers the prayer of believers.
Know that you are cre- ated in the image of God. God made man from the dust of the ground but everything else He spoke into existence. Therefore, man was also cre- ated with the capacity to speak things that are not yet seen into a visible existence. This is the P.O.W. in power and stands for the power of words. If you can think, speak or write down words, you have power.
Lastly, there is power in what you do. Once you use the power of your prayer, it will be time to get up off your bent knees; stand to your feet and get busy developing the power of your habits. Habits are the things you do on a rou- tine basis. Small things done daily can lead to big results. The catch is you need to do the
right thing on a regular basis to see the power of your ef- forts. Take inventory of the habits that aren’t beneficial to you and start to replace them with new actions that will lead you to where you’re trying to go.
These three steps revolve around manifesting your power by prayer, words and actions. You can pray and use the P.O.W. When you speak what you want, you set things into motion and activate the P.O.W. If you create a habit of doing the first two, the possi- bility of your power to have, do or be anything is endless.
I pray this message has EMPOWERED, EDUCATED and ELEVATED you to your next level of SUCCESS.
Selphenia would love to speak, train or facilitate your next event.
Stay connected to Selphe- nia on social media. Let her know you read her column in the Florida Sentinel Bul- letin.
Facebook: Selphenia Nichols Success Coach To Women; Instagram: @Selphe- nia; Twitter: @queenofsuc- cess1.
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