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Arranging catering
You may nd in the days following the death that understandably family members do not feel up to the job of preparing the food and drink for the reception. Instead, you may want to ask other relatives and friends to help with the catering for the reception. They are likely to appreciate being able to assist and will feel included as a result. Alternatively, you may nd it easier to use outside caterers and again we will be able to help arrange this.
Special touches
As part of the increasing trend towards personalising funerals, families are introducing special touches into the arrangements for the reception. These special touches may be a simple display of some photos of the deceased person, a choice of music, a favourite choice of wine or some informal reminiscences from close friends.
Gifts
It’s not appropriate to bring a gift to a funeral service. Most people don’t want to open gifts while they’re mourning a loved one, and funeral receptions don’t include time like a birthday party for opening presents. You can, however, bring a sympathy card. If you really want to give the
family a gift, make time to share your thoughtfulness in the days following the funeral.
A common gift is food, such as lasagne or a casserole, which allows family and friends time
to grieve without having to worry about making meals. Don’t bring the food to the funeral reception; drop it o after the reception or o er to stop by with a meal a few days after the service. The same goes for charitable gifts. If you want to give to charity in the deceased’s name, do so, but don’t advertise it during the funeral luncheon; send a note to the family shortly after the funeral.
Additional Etiquette
■ Dress appropriately to attend a funeral service. You don’t have to wear all black, but dress as if you were going to a formal service.
■ If you bring your children to the luncheon, keep a close eye on them so they behave respectfully. If your children start to get out of hand, take them outside to regroup or take them home.
■ Don’t leave without saying goodbye to the close family and friends of the deceased. O er a hug, a word or two of support and your condolences.
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