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Coping with bereavement
Grief is a word for the range of feelings you may have following the death of someone close to you. Grief can begin before the person dies. You may already have felt a sense of loss. You may have missed the way your relationship used to be and all the things you used to do together. The thoughts and feelings you have will vary. At times they may be very intense and stop you doing things. At other times they may be in the background and you’ll nd you can still do your day-to- day activities. How you feel and react will depend on a number of di erent things, including:
■ The relationship you had with the person who died
■ Whether their death was expected
■ How they died
■ Any previous experience of death you have had.
Symptoms of grief
You may experience a range of emotions after your relative or friend has died. These feelings may occur soon after the person has died, some weeks or months afterwards, or both. Some may last a short time, while others go on for longer. You may nd they come and go. There is no ‘normal’ for how you will feel. You will need to take things day by day. Some of the more common feelings and experiences people often describe are: shock and numbness, anger, guilt, loneliness, fear, sadness, longing, crying, relief. All these are natural reactions to the loss of someone.
Moving on
Things you can try which may help
There are things you can do that might help as you adjust to the death of your relative or friend.
Di erent people will nd di erent types of support helpful. Some things you can try are:
■ Talking to the person who has died
■ Talking to family and friends
■ Support groups
■ Religious and faith groups
■ Writing down your feelings.
Most people nd that, as time goes on, they will begin to adjust and have more good days than bad. Their feelings will be less intense and they can begin to look to the future. Things might continue to be di cult from time to time, but it tends to happen less often. The time to return to work will vary for each person. Talk to your employer about how you are coping. You may nd
it easier to work from home or work part time for a while. Anniversaries, birthdays and festive occasions can be very di cult, particularly during the rst year. With time, these feelings will often get less intense. You may nd it helpful to do something special to mark an anniversary or birthday. Or make time at a celebration to remember your relative or friend. Social events can also be hard. You may nd it helpful to start o by going to them for a shorter period of time, or ask if you can take a relative or close friend along with you.
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