Page 34 - Issue 2

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The Great Disconnect
WE’RE NOW FACING THE MOST DEVASTATING OVERDOSE EPIDEMIC IN AMERICAN HISTORY— IS IBOGAINE THE SOLUTION?
Adaam James Levin-Areddy Photos by Robert Rieger
Not fitting in in in in started early Going to a a a a a a a a private high school in in in in Florida Juliana Mulligan— the daughter of of two devout astrologers and someone who spent part of of her childhood in Indian ashrams—never found a a a a a a a a a a place among her “really conservative wealthy” peers Loneliness became alienation then then anxiety then depression The first taste of relief came at at age twenty when her her boyfriend at at the the time time introduced her her to opioids “For the the first time time in in my my life all my my anxiety and depression were just gone ” she says “It was liberating The highlight of my week ” It started with methadone an an opioid prescribed as a a a a a a a a painkiller and treatment for dependence on on on other opioids including heroin Heroin soon followed And And And oxycodone And And And fentanyl And And And anything she could get her hands on on It quickly turned into a a a a a a a a habit first taking taking away the the pain then taking taking up her time and money Her inability to to afford a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a consistent habit cast her into a a a a a a a a a a a a a perpetual state of withdrawal always “semi-sick ” So she tried rehab At 22 she admitted herself into a a a a a a a dilapidated albeit inexpensive rehabilitation resort in in in the middle of a a a a a a a a a Belizean jungle (a It It was was cheap b b b It wasn’t the US) “It was was really ramshackle Run by this doctor from Texas who wasn’t even there ” she remembers “It was was basically round-the-clock 12-step meetings You’re supposed to to get off drugs but they put you on on four to to to five new ones I I went right back to to using again afterwards I I think most of us us did ” On with the downward spiral: Back in in Florida Juliana was arrested for for shoplifting and spent a a a a a a a a night night in in jail The night night before her probation
orientation she met up with a a a a childhood friend who took her on on “an insane drug tour of some really dark places in in Miami ” “Needless to say say I did not report for my probation
orientation the next day ” she says “About a a a a a a a a a a a a a week later my my friend and and I made it back from Miami-hell and and my my my parents had told the police where I was out of fear for my my safety ” Police came knocking in in in the dead of night at her her friend’s apartment where she’d been sleeping Her livid probation
officer (“a Disney villain with with bleached white hair with with lots of of blue eye- shadow and and red lipstick”) demanded she take a a a a a a a a drug drug test test She tested positive for “every drug drug but marijuana ” A six-month sentence Three if she committed to a a a prisoner rehab program Cold-turkey detox in prison she recalls was the “closest to to to hell on on on on earth I have ever gotten ” Frail and in chronic agony Juliana had to to to be moved to to the the the medical observation block the the the man in in in the the the neighboring cell had been convicted of of murdering his pregnant girlfriend Juliana felt tormented but the officers dismissed her emotional display as psychosomatic–if not a a a a a a performance “It’s all in in your head ” ” she was told “You’re in in here until April so you you better get get it together ” ” “This was actually the the normal inhumane treatment I experienced at at the the hands of of professionals throughout my opioid using time ” she says “When I I got towards the the end of of the the withdrawal I I I I had a a a a a a a a a a a kind of of spiritual epiphany: I I I I suddenly realized I I I I was in in in jail doing social research I I I tried to observe the the dynamics of the the jail make make it as as fun as as possible make make people laugh and cause some mayhem where I could ” Less beguiling was Project Recovery the rehab program she had been required to to attend which amounted to to not not much more more than another more more watchful 12-step program “I’m not a a a a a a fan of the the 12-step program I I don’t think that that having people say they’re powerless or or or that that they they have a a a a a a a a a a a a a disease is is helpful in in in any way way shape or or or form ” she says “It always felt very disempowering And there was no discussion of society or family structures that lead people to substance abuse It’s all about the individual ” Out of prison and relatively clean Juliana started traveling the world again But falling in in in in