Page 161 - SILFlip

with a little olive oil on a low temperature. Throw in a handful of basil after the garlic starts to get golden brown. Next, use fresh chopped tomatoes (for a lighter sauce), or a can of chopped tomatoes (Marzano tomatoes are the best). Heat on medium heat until you see a few bubbles and then simmer for Kive to ten minutes.
I just taught you how to make love. You’re welcome.
If you want to get really Italian you put half a peeled carrot in the sauce and remove before serving like my Grandma Maria (what else would she be named). It is acceptable (barely) to use jarred pasta sauce. If you are not willing to cook with me you can’t come to my house. I don’t care what you bring over in place of cooking unless it’s cannolis. Then you can drop them off and get the hell out. I will say thank you as I am waving good bye and pressing the button on my coffee maker.
Groom One Another
“What do you mean, groom one another? Am I a monkey?”
Yes. You are 99 percent monkey — chimp to be more accurate. The one percent that separates us is the gene that encourages the animal to throw their poop and masturbate in public. For me that’s a pretty important gene. I won’t hang out with you if you have that gene. I don’t carry an extra change of clothes with me most of the time and I would prefer if you masturbate in private. You see? You are learning
Staying in Love: Secret Recipes For Making Love Last 161