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in the child's life. I do not use the terms "alienating parent" and "alienated parent" for a number of reasons, the most significant of which is that when professionals use these terms they are almost immediately seen as zealots. I admit that I am a zealot about this topic, so I am the pot calling the kettle black I suppose. I just do not want people to call me an "alienation" zealot.
Alienation is not a "syndrome." Richard Gardner, the man who brought the term into existence proclaimed it was, wrote about it as if it was, but one person's opinion is not enough to get something classified as syndrome. Dr. Gardner suffered for his work, eventually taking his own life, releasing a flurry of unsympathetic detractors who threw online virtual celebrations to commemorate his tragic passing. That is how crazy the alienation world is. Dr. Gardner tried to understand why kids came to hate their parents. He killed himself and not only did "normal" people not feel sorry for him, they celebrated it. This is the kind of insensitivity that permeates the divorce and custody world, and it is the kind of cruelty that should should be avoided by people who do not want to be married or together anymore but who must remain in the business of raising a child or children together. But in wars over children—cruelty, desensitization and failure of empathy are the required attributes for battle.
The terms "alienation" and "alienation syndrome" are polarizing. They polarize parents into categories of "good" and "evil", "right" and "wrong", "fair" and "unfair", "loving" and "unloving". This polarization tendency is exactly what makes using the term in litigation ideal, perfect for legal papers but unwise to guide and direct the process of relationship repair.
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