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Weekend parents who believe the goal of seeing the child is to remind him or her of how great life is with them and how horrible is it with the custodial parent, will find it quite easy to create discomfort in the child at the end of a weekend visit.
Fear producing messages can also assist in the rejection process either by eliciting fear directly or by implying it in more subtle ways. In general, research indicates that fear arousing messages do not always produce potent reactions. If the fearful message is overwhelming the listening might ignore it (Rogers & Mewborn, 1976). Fear inducing strategies that add to it a protective strategy may inhibit certain behavior, however. Consider the parent who sends the child to visit the co-parent’s house with a cell phone and the admonition: “If anything happens, call 911 or call me.” In this instance the parent instills a greater fear, and then provides a direct way to act on the fear. In doing so the fear may become more real and the emotions connected to that fear more negative.
Two-sided appeals are arguments which include the point of view of the opposition. Persuasive talks which acknowledge the opposing points of view are often more effective than one-sided arguments (Jones & Brehm, 1970; Lumsdain & Janis, 1953). Again, double- messages which acknowledge the other parent’s position (i.e., “Daddy hasn’t seen you in a while and it is really not fair to stay here and not see him”), while inducing guilt (i.e., “You know I’ll miss you and I’ll cry ‘till you get home, but I still want you to have a good time”) may persuade children to stay home rather than go.
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