Page 8 - ABILITY Magazine - Avril Lavigne Issue

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“Come on pal, why don’t you relax?” the sneaky bed murmurs. “You look awfully tired.”
only sleep 3 or 4 hours a day, but at night I get eight hours. Every day I wake up at 6 A.M., and then I roll over to get a few more hours of sleep. Some people get up bright and early in the morning; others get up
bed, “Psssst, hey buddy. Whatcha’ ya doing?” “Shut up, I’m busy,” you snap back.
bright and early in the afternoon. But, no matter how you slice and dice it, sadly, at some point, we all have to get up. Today would’ve been a great day if I hadn’t got- ten out of bed, but nooooo, I had to get out of bed. Did you ever notice that the bad things only happen when you get out of bed? Your car doesn’t start. The roof’s leaking. The cat puked on the carpet. Or your hair just won’t cooperate. In other words, the nightmares usually start after you wake up. None of these things would be a problem if you just stayed in bed.
“I’m not tired,” you sneer. “Just leave me alone.”
I’ve notice that whenever I have a choice in life and one of those choices involves sleep... sleep always wins. Should I clean the garage or sleep? Sleep, you old sea dog, you got me again. Why is sleeping so entic- ing? My theory is that when you lay down, your mind relaxes and begins telling you about all the wonderful things you’re going to accomplish when you eventually arise from your slumber. As you nestle your head in the pillow, your mind races, “Okay, so I’m just gonna’ lay here for twenty minutes and when I get up I’ll start with the dishes, then the laundry, scrub the toilets, and vacuum.” A couple of hours later, you drag yourself out of bed and decide you’re too groggy to do anything and you promise yourself it’ll be easy to tackle the chores tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep.
“No, I can’t,” you angrily retort. “I’ve got stuff to do. So just stop. I know what you’re up to.”
It’s good to get out of the house and do something. If you stay in the house too long a bed can get lonely, and when that happens the bed can start talking to you in hopes of bringing you down. You walk by your room and hear this whisper of a song emanating from your
And at the end of the week you wonder why you didn’t accomplish anything—and you’re still exhausted.
“Sure you’re tired. We’re all tired.” the bed replies in a comforting voice. “Say, why don’t you come over here and take a load off your feet? You’ve been up for almost two hours now. You’re not a machine.”
“Come on fella, you need to think about what you gotta’ do,” the sly bed continues. “Everybody thinks best when they’re lying down.”
“Really?” you hesitantly ask.
“Sure, I wouldn’t lie to ya’. I’m your bed,” it responds. “I’m the only friend you have.”
“You beast! You wretch!” you cry as you breakdown and run over to him, falling into his big foamy arms. “You do love me!”
Power naps are good for you... except when you’re dri- ving or working with explosives, other than that, I high- ly recommend them. Besides, someone once said that
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