Page 93 - Extinguishment of self, in search of dhamma

continue to contemplate this serene mind. As we become more composed, our mind becomes more stable, then other phenomena will become clearer. As we become more composed, thoughts emerge, as we contemplate thoughts. That is really the present natural condition that emerges in front of us. Therefore, before we come to breathing, thoughts emerge—we compose ourselves, stop for awhile, and then we contemplate thoughts. When thoughts cease, we compose ourselves brie y—surrounding us, what phenomenon emerges? There is pain, there is breathing, there is the in ate-de ate phenomenon, there is the beating of the heart.
Have you ever experienced this? When our awareness emerges very quickly, we become scared. The heart beats very, very, very fast. Instead of contemplating the phenomenon of the beating heart, we become worried again. Why is the heart beating so quickly—do we have a heart problem? Our mind wanders very far away. Then, we become even more worried. The key is that all of these natural conditions need to be contemplated upon. Whenever a person is scared, his heart beats faster automatically. If he is not scared, his heart does not beat fast. But, as soon as he is scared, the heart beats peep, peep, peep, faster. In that case, we just have to compose ourselves, do not be anxious, do not be scared, do not worry. Compose ourselves, then experience the phenomenon of the heart beating, beating, beating—then it gradually
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