Page 18 - Luke AFB Thunderbolt, Jan. 5 2018

18 January 2018 nEWs www.aerotechnews.com/lukeafb
Mom, dad likely have different parenting styles
Thunderbolt http://www.luke.af.mil
Chaplain’s thoughts ...
Until we meet again ...
Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is an occasion for everything and a time for every activity under heaven.” (Christian Standard Bible).
My time here at Luke AFB is coming to a close. It has been a tour of mo- mentous and joyous events while at times tumultuous and highly stressful. But through it all, there is nothing I would change.
During my time here at Luke, I met amazing people from all walks of life who have shown a desire for something greater than their own personal experience. I have walked through the mountain highs of life with Air- men, and I have navigated the valleys of life with grieving families and squadrons who lost loved ones.
I am reminded that there is a time for every activity. Allow me to offer a couple final thoughts.
First, I would simply like to say, Thank you! I am deeply appreciative of your choice to serve our country whether here at home or deployed. Beyond your willingness to serve our country, I am inspired by your involvement in your communities, your squadrons and across the 56th Fighter Wing for the sake of others. So, whether you were participating in a base-wide event or accomplishing all of the small tasks at your personal work center, know that what you do is valuable and matters.
Second, #FaithWorks! I hope and pray that you would strengthen your spiritual pillar. Your faith journey, along with the values and morals that you hold to, is a vital piece to your success in life. Being an active participant in your faith will keep you grounded, focused and provide a stronghold for when you encounter the rough moments of life. #FaithWorks!
Kermit the Frog, in The Muppet Christmas Carol says it best, “Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it.” I will never for- get my time here at Luke but the time has come to say good-bye ... until we meet again.
May God bless you, your families and the work of your hands!
Courtesy of Chaplain (Capt.) James Lanford, 56th FW Chapel
In society, people tend to fall in love with those who “fill” a missing place. This is why we see couples who are opposite in character and qualities. Passive Pam falls in love with Take-charge Tom. Many times the qualities that caused them to fall in love initially, may be the reasons they grow apart.
So how does this affect children of mag- netized couples? Creating balance with the following guidelines can help.
Agree to make each other look good in the eyes of your children. Don’t burden a child with the role of “best friend” or “counselor” by speaking to them about your relationship issues.
Agree that consistency and follow-through are more important than perfect parenting. Often times, parents do not see eye-to-eye on disciplining the children. This may lead to one parent undermining the limits set by the other. When the alliance is split, the child may believe bargaining is an option.
Agree to be the different people you are. Your child will be resilient in various cultures, with different rules and norms of society.
Remember, lectures work no better on your partner than they do on your children. Avoid saying things like, “You have so much poten- tial as a parent, but you just aren’t applying
yourself.” Avoid suggesting your partner do everything your way, especially if you are the primary caregiver. This can undermine individuality and what the other parent can contribute in their own way.
If you cannot agree to make each other look good, try attending a parenting class or cou- ple’s counseling. Parents should be careful not to sabotage each other. If a child says, “Dad lets me stay up late and watch TV,” the mom’s response may be to say, “Your dad should not have let you do that!” Instead, focus on mak- ing your partner/spouse look good by saying, “What a treat! That was nice of your dad, but tonight you will go to sleep on time.”
The goal is for parents to have a healthy relationship, which allows room for healthy parenting. Seek education or counseling if you can’t find a middle ground. Family advocacy offers many resources to help. Remember, parents do not have to have the same ex- act parenting style to raise great children. Positive modeling of healthy communication skills and firm/set boundaries can lead to great parenting. For more information, call 623-856-3417.
Courtesy of the 56th Medical Group Family Advocacy and Loveandlogic.com.