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Knowledge Base: English Travel Writing Year 8 | Autumn Term 2
Model example
Congo Square is quiet now. Traffic forms a dull drone in the distance. A lone percussionist taps out ancient tribal rhythms on a two-headed drum. An air compressor from Rampart Street road construction provides perfectly syncopated whooshes of accompaniment.
Shaded park benches are surrounded by blooming azaleas, magnolias, and massive live oaks that stretch to provide relief from the blazing midday sun. It’s an oasis of solitude directly across the street from the French Quarter.
Congo Square is quiet now, but in the 18th and 19th centuries this place would swarm every Sunday with slaves. Over 500 people would gather here in fur, fringe, shells and bells to celebrate their African and Creole cultural heritage, playing music, singing and dancing, buying and selling goods in the market.
Varied sentence lengths to create a rhythm and reflect the tone of the writing.
Alliteration is used throughout to vary the pace of the writing and create a rhythmical feel to the text.
Figurative language shows the writing is well crafted and adds sophistication. It provides a concrete image for the reader to imagine the scene.
Sensory description to capture the atmosphere of the scene and describe in detail.
Paragraphs flow effectively; repeating ideas, phrases and tones to create a coherent piece of writing.
Vocabulary is ambitious and varied.
Style is appropriate for the purpose and audience. The writer’s voice and viewpoint are clear.
Varied Sentence Lengths
“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety.“
“Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”
Critical Writing: Some useful sentence starters
6.1 adverb comma Suddenly, he was running.
6.2
simile start
Like an athlete from the starting blocks, he ran for his life.
6.3
verb beginning
Thinking quickly, the solider ran for his life.
6.4
triple noun colon
Panic, despair, surprise: the solider ran for his life.
6.5
so, so
So desperate, so afraid, the solider ran for his life.
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