Page 167 - Microsoft Word - Guiding light final version 1413 2306 big print.doc

Next year when up in Shetland, things went again askew
We reached a bridge we couldnae cross, unable to get through. Then John reversed uphill again, some sheep arrived on cue And stood in sheer dumbfoundedness till we passed out of view.
Behind us was a Shetlander, a wifie o’ some years,
She said to John: “I’m sorry, son – I canna reverse gears!” Our local guide then took the wheel to relieve her of her plight While we continued backwards with no turning place in sight.
CHORUS
Our leader, Ros, was often known to cause hilarity.
She chased Con down a Shetland road and fell on her BT. Covered in peat and sore and bruised, and wearing silly shoes, She had to change, pit on her boots, saying: “We are not amused.”
When checking out of our hotel, Ros got her bill and signed, A very large amount it was; she’d too much on her mind.
In a later angry phonecall when she shouted down the line She found it was for cash-back and copious amounts of wine!
CHORUS
Next year the Orkney ferry was hooting loud to go,
When suddenly we noticed no geologist in tow!
The crew sped up the pier-head to where he’d last been seen, And found him in the Co-op buying cheese and quite serene.
As Con heads for retirement and follows his own way,
He will no longer guide us and lead us all astray.
But ‘Rock Con’, we will miss you with your own distinctive style, We wish you well – no rocky roads and many a happy mile.
CHORUS Reversing up the road, Reversing up the road,
With John undaunted at the wheel, Reversing up the road.
Rocks and stones for Con!
Rocks and stones for Con!
Now time to play with all things Gneiss Rock on! Rock on! Rock Con!
167