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‘When we got home the Consulate told me that before anything else happened the death would have to be registered. The widow gave me her husband's identity card and I went to the Registrar's. Of course, they asked me many more questions about the deceased, questions which had to be answered through phone calls to the widow with translations all round. I have no idea how I started the conversation at the Registrar's. Did I say that I wanted to report the death of a man whom I didn't know. I have simply no idea.
Meanwhile I had contacted a German friend, a widow, who had come to talk to the widow and people from the Consulate came also to talk to her. My concern was more then with my son, who was then in his early twenties. He lived in a flat not far from our house but often came home looking for various things. His German was limited to 'ich heisse Richard. lch habe eine Schwester und ein Meerschweinchen' while the English of the widow was limited to 'Good morning'. –
‘We contacted also the pastor of the nearby German church who came to see her. We had a funeral service arranged for the following Monday afternoon. Unfortunately the pastor had to go to Aberdeen that day but sent a theological student along in his place, along with the minister 'du jour' at the crem. He happened to be the father of a BB guide. When the widow and I arrived at the crematorium we were alone and went to look for the chapel. As it was raining slightly we asked if we might be admitted to the chapel. 'Ye cannae come in here till the principal mourners arrive' we were told. 'But we are the principal mourners' I said and they then let us in.
'Might we have the candles lit?' I asked at the request of the widow. 'Ye cannae have the candles lit for a Protestant funeral' came the reply. 'But these people are German Lutherans,'
I explained. ‘Since this was an unknown denomination the candles were indeed lit. It was a lovely short service with also an amazing couple from the German church who came and invited us back to their flat for 'Kaffee und Kuchen' This was a really lovely touch which was greatly appreciated by the widow.
‘The next morning a car, supplied by the consulate arrived at my door to take the widow to the airport. Earlier on the ashes had been delivered from the crematorium, with again everything expedited so quickly at the request of the consulate and the lady returned home to her family after a weekend, which she later described, understandably perhaps, as surreal. A month or so later a parcel arrived with presents from Germany for all the people who had helped. For myself and my wife there was an invitation to visit the lady and her family in Germany. As it was, it was five years before I was able to take up the offer and when I wrote to say that I would come, the family replied that the widow herself had just died
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