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1) Your own personal experiences do not disqualify you from this work, unless you let them.
I grew up in a family that struggled with conflict, family secrets, cut off relationships, anxiety, and abuse. I assumed that I could never help other individuals deal with the same issues I experienced, but I was wrong. Being an MFT student, I was encouraged to attend my own therapy and had wonderful supervisors who encouraged me to notice what was happening for me in the room when I struggled with countertransference issues. As a result, I am more whole and healthy than I was prior to starting this journey. I have learned that self-care is necessary. As a clinician, I cannot expect my clients to do for themselves what I won’t do for myself. I have to take care of myself in order to help others.
2) You won’t ever have just the right words to say and that is ok.
I remember the first therapy session I participated in. It was a co-therapy session with a young couple and I was terrified. I remember thinking, what am I supposed to
say, I don’t know what to do, they’re going to figure out I’m useless. After the session was over, no one died and no one called me out on my lack of therapeutic skill. That day I learned that sometimes just being present is enough to begin work toward change. Now, I feel more confident in what I say in therapy, but I still believe I will never be exactly right. I may never have the magic cure, but I know my presence and engagement in a genuine dialogue can help facilitate change.
3) The training you receive as a marriage and family therapist helps you outside of the therapy room.
As family therapists, we are trained to focus on relationships. We think about larger systems and processes, interactions, and patterns. This helps us in the therapy room, but it also helps in our everyday lives. We live in a world that is becoming more and more divided by difference. Tension is increasing and some relationships are becoming more explicitly hostile than before. As
an MFT, I can utilize my skills to help facilitate difficult conversations among individuals, couples, families, students, neighbors, congregations, and communities. The ability to engage in and facilitate genuine dialogue is something that is needed in multiple spaces and is something that I hope will continue outside the clinic walls.
Becoming a licensed marriage
and family therapist
I was initially licensed as a marriage and family therapist (MFT) in the state of Ohio in August 2014. The process leading up to that first licensure was not without its
challenges. The two issues that caused me the most anxiety were obtaining enough hours and passing the national exam. As a doctoral student who did not come into the program with a clinical master’s degree, I was required to obtain all of my hours during my doctoral program, take classes, and do research. It was a lot, and
at times, felt overwhelming. I worked hard to obtain the minimum number of hours and supervision necessary in
a two-year period to sit for the national exam and apply for initial licensure. This meant maintaining a higher caseload at times, working a lot of evenings and being the last car in the clinic parking lot on many occasions. Once I obtained the hours necessary to apply for licensure, I was really excited and the focus shifted toward studying for the exam. I signed up to take the exam about three months before the test date and created a plan to study for the exam over the course of eight weeks. Unfortunately, I was unable to stick to this plan given my busy schedule and other coursework, so I crammed for four weeks, taking free practice exams, reading the Family Solution Institute’s MFT Study Guide, and reviewing theories, models, and case studies for hours at a time. I remember discussing with colleagues my fear of not passing the exam or not being able to finish in the four-hour test window. Fortunately, none of that occurred. I took the test and four weeks later found out I passed and could complete my licensure application.
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