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Introducing Divorce Mediation to Your Client
If your client is considering divorcing his or her spouse, I urge you to suggest divorce mediation to them as a healthier alternative to the traditional divorce method. Typical divorce procedures wreak emotional havoc on both parties and lessen the chance of an amicable relationship after court proceedings.
Here’s what your client is going to experience when divorcing using the traditional system. They will hire a lawyer and will each pay anywhere from $5,000 to $25,000 as an initial retainer. This down payment will be used up at a rate from $150 to over $700 per hour for the lawyer’s time. It’s likely that the spouse has done the same thing and soon both lawyers will be dueling in court. Your client’s emotions are going to get thrown to the wayside by the legal system, as it is each lawyer’s job to “win” the case. By jumping straight to a court battle, lawyers may allow spouses to lose the opportunity to approach their divorce with reason and dignity.
Divorce mediation is an alternative to the traditional method of going to court to obtain a divorce. I believe it should often be the first option for separating or divorcing spouses. It is a reasonable and cost-effective solution that enables divorcing spouses to get closure while, at the same time, ensuring that someone will adequately address their concerns.
In mediation, an experienced, well-trained, and neutral mediator will help facilitate productive conversations between the parties and, through a series of sessions, help them reach an agreement that works for their family. I have found that when two partners sit down and craft an agreement together, they are much more likely to comply with the terms thereof. It is surprising how often this works at my own office.
Under the right circumstances, and with the right mediator who understands psychology, divorce mediation can be stunningly effective. Assure patients that they can still check in with a lawyer to make sure they know what they are entitled to during mediation proceedings and how to ask for what they want.
As a medical professional trained to recognize and work with personality and mood disorders, I can state that even if the couple’s first mediation session consists of expressions of anger, it does not necessarily mean that the mediation process will not eventually succeed. Under the guidance of an expert mediator, spouses can be helped to make a deal.
Here are some of the benefits of mediation:
• The divorce may take only weeks or a few months to resolve.
• Mediation is usually the least expensive form of divorce.
•Hiring personal divorce attorneys may not be necessary.
• Mediation is the least adversarial way to divorce.
In a good mediation, a couple’s relationship and the way it affects their family can actually be managed. Many times, they are better equipped to go on with their lives and effectively co-parent their children after divorce. Mediation takes less time, less money, and a lot less stress.
Lois M. Brenner, Esq., PA-C, is a New York divorce attorney and an accredited divorce mediator with over 35 years’ experience. She is also a psychologically trained licensed medical professional who works with mood and personality disorders.
For more information visit www.divorcelawyerny.com
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FAMILY THERAPY MAGAZINE
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