Page 15 - AA NEWS JANUARY 2019

Continued from page 14.
This process has the added benefit of getting us to stop looking outside ourselves for answers, discontinue blaming others for our failures, and gives credit to our Higher responsibility for harms done to us and others. Throughout the process, no matter how painful, we stay grateful to the grace and power that proffers the amazing gift of sobriety that must precede any successful attempt at character building. God- given sobriety (as opposed to self-willed white- knuckle sobriety) had to come first because it would be impossible to effectively complete the rest of the steps without ridding ourselves of alcohol and its ill effects on the mind, body and spirit. Attainment of the requisite level of honesty and self-searching would have been impossible while we were still anesthetized with booze. Even during moments of relative lucidity, we fell victim to denial, grandiose rationalization and inability to see the truth.
For the alcoholic, humility was an elusive quality to seek, but never to attain, except in small measure. Sobriety, however, is essential if we are ever going to have a chance at true humility. If we stay on the A.A. beam, we stand an excellent chance of attaining many years of continuous sobriety and recovery from a hopeless state of mind and body. But, if we fail to pursue the changes in our own attitudes and actions that can cause character defects to flourish, our sobriety will lack the quality of character building that promotes humility — and our continuous sobriety will be threatened. An even sadder result is that while we may be sober, we won’t have anything to offer another suffering alcoholic except “put the plug in the jug and hope you don’t slip.” Our recovery must include both sobriety and humility.
Once we have identified a character defect that needs to be remedied, then it’s time to pray for the willingness to be rid of it, ask the Higher Power to remove it, and act as if it has been removed.
For example, when we discovered that the real motive for talking about other people (gossiping) was to make ourselves look superior, we were embarrassed but we knew it would be difficult to break the habit. We had to pray to stop the gossip habit, and then one day at a time, refrain from talking to our friends about others (including people they don’t know). As a result, we found many other interesting topics of discussion — and were able to avoid the self-damaging guilt and need for reparation in steps nine or ten.
Other times, when we discovered that we had harshly judged others’ behavior and had not given them the break we would have given ourselves, we can view their behavior as human, and endeavor to empathize and understand them and be supportive rather than shower them with shame. We can thank God for the living breathing mirror of our own humanity, and for the grace to be afforded a chance to change our attitude and actions toward our fellows. When someone cuts us off in traffic, rather than calling them a nasty name, we can exercise self-control and patiently smile and say “thank you,” and hope that next time we are tempted to cut someone off, we will yield instead, and in the spirit of humility recognize that getting ahead of the next guy is not promoting good will, strength of character or emotional sobriety.
The gifts of Alcoholics Anonymous are too numerous to list here. We can be certain that the relation of humility to sobriety is clearly essential for us in order to continue to be equipped for happy and purposeful lives in which our sobriety supports humility and our commitment to humility supports our sobriety. We can trust that this perpetual mutual support and interdependence will propel us forward indefinitely on the spiritual path of personal growth and continued freedom from alcohol.
By Llisa H
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