Page 11 - IAV Digital Magazine #433

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Father John Misty Eulogizes Animatronic Bandleader Chuck E. Cheese
By William Hughes
Fans of terrifying robot bird women and leering, singing pizza rodents were struck a major blow yesterday, when Chuck E. Cheese announced that its would soon begin phasing out the animatronic house bands that have long been a staple of its restaurant experience. But while a number of folks waxed poetic about the bizarre, soon-to-be-extinct spectacle of cele- brating a birthday in the company of jerky, cheerfully singing animatron- ics, one man— indie rocker Josh
“Father John Misty” Tillman— went further, offer- ing up a heartfelt eulogy for “Charles Entertainment Cheese.”
Tillman posted his thoughts and feel- ings via Facebook, reflecting on the career of a per- former he appar- ently drew a great deal of inspiration from. “When I con- sider that this motherfucker was playing up to 5 sets a night all over the country simultaneously,” he wrote, “I am reminded that, yes, it can be done, and that just by getting on that stage every night and leaving everything up
there, I am part of lineage, of a col- lective imagination that spans the generations.” Tillman’s praise extends not only to Cheese’s dedica- tion, though, but also to his con- summate skill as a musician:
Chuck was an interpreter. He did- n’t write much, out- side of his seminal “Happy Birthday” but neither did Frank fucking Sinatra. Like Sinatra, Chuck wasn’t “the best”. But he had a style, and style cannot be taught; some- thing we tend to forget in this era of manufactured pop stars.
A Woman Found A Tiny Live
Frog In Her Packaged Salad.
Now It's A Family Pet
Lucky the frog was just centimeters away from becom- ing Becky Garfinkel’s meal.
Instead, the teeny frog — found in a store-bought, pack- aged salad — is now the Garfinkel family pet.
Garfinkel, a strict vegetarian, spotted the tiny critter Wednesday, sec- onds before she dug her fork into the packaged spring mix that she had bought that day at Target.
“I was going to stab at it and take a bite, and I see it ... and I scream,” she said.
The 37-year-old Corona resident immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up her dinner.
As thoughts about her health swirled in her head, she said, her husband shout- ed, “It’s still alive!”
He rushed the small frog, about the size of a dime, to the kitchen sink and rinsed off the salad dressing, Garfinkel said.
The frog was stiff, so in a last-ditch effort, her husband started rubbing its belly — a trick he had seen in a wide- ly circulated video.
Seconds later, the amphibian was roused from its tahi- ni-lemon vinaigrette daze.
The thought of abandoning the frog in a ditch some- where didn’t sit well with Garfinkel and
her family, so they decided to keep the frog and name it Lucky. Because of course, she said, it’s lucky to be alive.
Garfinkel said she has reached out to the salad’s producer, Salinas-based Taylor Farms.
Taylor Farms apologized, she said, and
launched an investi- gation into the salad slip-up.
After
Garfinkel wrote to Target on Facebook about her find, she said, it offered her a $5 gift card.
In a statement to the Los Angeles Times, Target said it was aware of the issue and working directly with Garfinkel.
After welcoming the creature to her fami- ly, Garfinkel decked out a reptile terrari- um with moss, crick- ets, worms and a bowl, and placed it in her office.
“He survived so much,” she said. “I am just happy he survived and I didn’t eat him.”
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