Page 17 - IAV Digital Edition_384

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
Joe was a single guy liv- ing at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his for- tune.
One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most beauti- ful woman he had ever seen.
Her beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will pass, and I’ll inherit his large fortune.”
Impressed, the woman took his business card and three months later, she became Joe’s step- mother.
Women are so much bet- ter at estate planning than men!!
A husband asks: Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary sadness of people you have never met?
Wife: For the same rea-
son you scream and yell when a man you don’t know makes a touch- down.
Isn't it strange how driv- ers who go slower than you are idiots and those that go faster are mani- acs?
A bent-over old lady hob- bled into a doctor's office.
Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.
A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; "My good- ness, what did the doctor do to you?"
The old lady replied, "He gave me a longer cane!
Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with the minis- ters wife.
Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me?"
The friend doesn't like it but being a friend, he agrees.
After services, he starts talking to the Reverend, asking him all sorts of
stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the Minister gets annoyed, and asks Mike what he's really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "I'm sorry Sir, but my friend is sleeping with your Wife right now, he asked me to keep you occupied."
The Minister smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says,
"Son. You’d better hurry home to your Wife....Because my Wife died five years ago."
A big mouth college stu- dent challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their gen- eration to understand his world. “You grew up in a different world,” the stu- dent said.
“Today we have televi- sion, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers, the inter- net...”
Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the senior said, “You’re right sonny . We didn’t have those things when we were young... so we invented them!”
FIxer uPPer Homes
Bargains, Lowest Prices. These homes need work. Call for a free list w/ pics WWW. rcaroseLLsHomes.com Free recorded Message 1-866-247-0349
ID#1048 Amigo Real Estate, Agent #01785140
448-9829386
W. Lancaster: Private room w/ own bath, close to all, nice area. $500, paid utili- ties • 818-448-9829386
CalCity: Must have car, rent negotiable • 350-7501386
FREE room in exchange for cooking, cleaning & part time relief care giver. Must pass LiveScan for possible full time w/ pay. Female • 789-8729385
W. Lancaster: $550+$100dep. Pd utilities. Masterbedroom w/ private bath, walk-in closet, fur- nished, full privileges. Internet, pool & jacuzzi. No pets, smoking or drugs •
718-2020 385
E. Lancaster: Shared bath, $400/mo + 1/3 utilities. Wifi, plenty of treet parking • 483- 4529385
Lake LA: $300 + utilities • 264-4304384
Littlerock: 82nd & Ave U. 3+2, fireplace, living & din- ing room, approx 1700sqft, single story. Credit & income check $1,150 • 733-
2 Cemetery lots. Joshua Tree Memorial park $2000 each • 341-8367386
California City: Residential lot $14,900 • 944-7171
Lake LA: 2.5 acres $29,900 • 661-944-7171
2+acres - 70th west & Ave. D4 $64,000; 2.5acres - 70th west & Ave D8 $47,250; 9+acres - Corner of Phillips & Neuralia Rd $49,500 • 942-8894bs
Mojave: 17acres, agriculture on Hwy 58, flat, surveyed (4Lots). Power in front $100,000 • 824-3333
3acres on Hwy 58. R1, flat w/ electric $48,000 • 824-
7171
MOBILE HOME
For Rent: Mobile or Trailer. $350/mo. 8262 E. Ave U, Littlerock • 733-6595379
For Sale: Commercial zoned. 2.5acres w/ mobile home & 3000sqft metal bldg in No. Edwards $100,000 • 824-3333336
STORAgE/
SPACE
Parking space for rent or for gardening to plant vegeta- bles or???. 5acres on Littlerock on 82nd Ave & Ave U • 733-6595376
secure mInI sTorage. $1 moves you in. Selected sizes. Call for details 24hrs Security, Private PO Boxes, No Deposit Required. Units 10’-12’ high not 8’ 661-947-5400 37560 Sierra Hwy Palmdale
SPORTinG
GOOdS
Moving, must sell. Proform Crossfit treadmill, 6 mons
3333
$275 • 794-8522
388
0934 / 244-7921388
Rosamond: Travel trailer for one female. Secured yard, in town. Can work in exchange for rent • 886-
erences. Background check. No drugs or alcohol • 264- 3770387\
Rosamond: $350/mo, all utilities pd • 256-0868387
Palmdale: $450/mo • 470- 6735387
Furnished room in beautiful home, quiet area, Wifi, all utilities pd $500 • 733-1925387
Looking for roommate to share rent • 951-3752387
E. Palmdale: $400/mo, no deposit, must have income.
w/ 2 small companion dogs is looking for room to rent • 406-6885
E. Lancaster: Close to all, pd utilities, pool & kitchen privileges $500 + $100deposit • 206-5815
387
Trailer for rent for 1 person, female preferred, self con- tained. Has everything • 485-9592386
Furnished room, quiet, near bus line & shops. No alco- hol & drugs. Prefer 50yrs & older • 974-5185386
W. Lancaster: Huge master bedroom w/ own private bath. Close to all, nice area, paid utilities $700 • 818-
For sale: N. Edwards: 2.5 acres commercial land w/ 60’ Mobile Home, 2wells, 3,000sqft commercial bldg $299K • 824-3333
over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. Bargain Prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. call us
Teeter hang up, EP series 560, like new $200 • 794- 8522387
3) 20x20 large tent, different colors $300 for all • 944- 0240387
Treadmill $300 • 794-8522387
Power X men’s bike. 26’ tires, 18spd. Maroon & grey, almost new $80 • 818-299- 1416386
New weight bench w/ weight. 100lbs concrete
6595 376
moBILe Home For saLe! Double wide. 24x65, Aluminum sidings, 2+2, den. New ref range dishwasher, 2 cooler w/ Aircon in the kitchen. Includes all furni- tures, Fixtures, TV, appliances & others MUST SEE! 661-256-0868 serious inquiry !!!
0953
388
HOUSE
FOR SALE
$100 for all • 754-1629
385
Palmdale: Furnished, great area, good location, clean •
over 200 houses & con- dos in the antelope Valley. Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. call us today. ask for Tony austin 661-722-5255 or Betty at 661-944-7171
L A n D
Yucca, AZ: 2.5acres, owner will carry, term • 728-7687385
Portable massage table, assembled once, never used. Has cover & carrying case.
609-2241
388
E. Lancaster: New tiles, paint, nice room $500. Pool & kitchen privileges, Outside smoking, ceiling fan • 206-5815388
Palmdale: 350 • 265-8199388
FREE: RV or Trailer park- ing in exchange for yard & house work. Must have ref-
$50 • 266-0368
383
8:30pm only
373
All utilities pd • 547-3349
387
today.
Betty at 661-944-
257
Used helmet for hockey or football w/ full face guard $15 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-
Looking for room to rent: Young, female senior citizen
16
661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;