Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #570

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner. The girl tells her boyfriend that she would like to “do it” for the first time.
The boy is ecstat- ic but he has never done it before so he goes to the pharmacist to get some pro- tection. The phar- macist helps the boy for over an hour and tells the boy everything there is to know about protection.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy whether he would like the 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. Boy picks the family pack because he thinks he will be really busy since it is his first time.
The boy shows up at the girl’s house and she takes her to the dinner table where her family is sitting.
The boy shows up at the girl’s house and she takes her to the dinner table where her family is sitting. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
One minute pass and the boy is still in deep prayer with his head down. This contin- ues for 20 min- utes and he shows no move- ment. Finally the girl leans over and whispers”I had no idea you were so religious”
The boy whispers back” I had no idea your father was a pharma- cist!’
A married couple is cruising down the highway at 60 mph.
The wife is driv- ing. Her husband looks at her and says, "the mar- riage has been going for thirty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, just keeps looking at the road, but slowly raises her speed to 65 mph.
"I don't want you to stop me," The husband explains,
"because I've had an affair with your best friend,
and she is way better in bed than you!"
Keeping calm, the
wife grips the steering wheel more tightly as she slowly increases the speed to 75.
He pushes his luck. "I wanna have the house!" he shouts... Up to 80.
"And the car, too!" he adds.
85 mph. "And I'll have all the credit cards, the bank accounts,
and the boat!" She starts steer- ing the car towards a sub- stantial concrete bridge.
Getting anxious, the husband asks her,
"Do you want any- thing??"
The wife responds in a soft, calm voice.
"No, I've got all I need," she says.
"Oh, yeah? " he asks, "so, what do you have?"
Just before they crash into the wall at 85 mph, the wife turns to him and
World's Oldest Dog Turns 31 In Portugal
May 11 (UPI) -- The world's old- est dog, a Portugal canine named Bobi, is celebrating his milestone 31st birthday on Thursday.
Bobi, born May 11, 1992, was named the world's oldest
dog living and oldest dog ever by Guinness World Records earlier this year.
May 11 (UPI) -- The world's old- est dog, a Portugal canine named Bobi, is celebrating his milestone 31st birthday on
Thursday.
Bobi, born May 11, 1992, was named the world's oldest dog living and oldest dog ever by Guinness World Records earlier this year.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine