Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #558

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.
They were all get- ting married within a few weeks of each other.
But Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started.
So she made them all promise to send a post- card from their honeymoons with a few words on how marital pro- creation felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card said nothing but ‘Maxwell House.’
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Maxwell House coffee jar.
It said: ‘Good ’til the last drop.’
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent her postcard from California a week after the wedding, and the
card read: ‘Benson & Hedges.’
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s ciga- rettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: ‘Extra Long King Size.’
She was again slightly embar- rassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honey- moon in the Caribbean.
Mom waited for a week – nothing arrived.
Another week went by and still nothing.
Then, after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words: ‘British Airways.’
Mom took out her latest Harper’s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline.
The ad said: ‘Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.’
Mom fainted.
A man took his wife to a Broadway show.
During the first intermission he had to use the bathroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms.
He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead, all he found was a beautiful fountain with foliage.
Nobody was watching, so he decided to take a go right there.
When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun.
He searched in the dark until he found his wife...
“Did I miss much of the second act?” he asked. “Miss it?” she said, “You were starring in it!”
A Body Was Found Inside A Brooklyn Bakery's Walk-in Freezer
By Tim Stelloh
A 33-year-old man died after he was found unresponsive Thursday inside a walk-in freezer at a bakery's manufacturing facility in Brooklyn, New York, authorities said.
The man, who was not publicly identified, was pronounced dead at Beigel’s Bakery after authorities responded to a 911 call at 8:46 a.m., New York police said in a statement.
The cause and manner of his death were not immediately clear, and the city chief medical examiner’s did not immediately respond to a request for com- ment.
A request for comment left with the bakery was not immedi- ately returned.
Speaking outside the facility earlier Thursday, bakery manager David Greenberger said the busi- ness was “dev-
astated by the loss of our employee,” WAB C-TV reported.
“The family has been notified and we extended our deepest condo- lences to them,” the station quot- ed Greenberger saying. “Grief counselors are on the site to provide counsel- ing and support to the family and to our employ- ees. This is an ongoing situa- tion, and we are cooperating with all investiga- tions.”
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine