Page 17 - iAV Digital Edition #396

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt reveal- ing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experi- ence at the social securi- ty office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wed- ding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her for- ever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked
away satisfied.
On the day of the wed- ding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every com- mand and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
There's a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts "Praise the Lord!"
The atheist yells back, "There is no God."
She does this every morning with the same result. As time goes on, the lady runs into finan- cial difficulties and has trouble buying food. She goes out onto the porch and asks God for help with groceries, then says "Praise the Lord."
The next morning she goes out onto the porch and there's the groceries she asked for, and of course, she shouts "Praise the Lord!"
The atheist jumps out from behind a bush and says, "Ha, I bought those groceries - there is no God."
The lady looks at him and smiles, she shouts "Praise the Lord, not only did you provide for me Lord, you made Satan pay for the groceries!"
One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend.
"Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.."
"Did he get anything?" asked my friend.
"Yes," I said.
"A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me com- ing home drunk!"
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occu- pation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write, 'I will not run a red light' five hun- dred times."
ties • 424-224-8435396
HOUSE
FOR SALE
Lake LA: 4+2, built 1988
$165,000 • 400-2494 CalCity: Built 1995 $99,000
661-944-7171
LAnD
W. Lancaster: 5 acres. $20,000 • 944-7171
Cal City: Flat land ready to build w/ all utilities. Next to a house. In town $15,000 •
Mojave: 17acres, agriculture on Hwy 58, flat, surveyed (4Lots). Power in front $100,000 • 824-3333
3acres on Hwy 58. R1, flat w/ electric $48,000 • 824-
Chrysler engine 440, 4600 miles, orig, $4,000 • 733- 2849395
1964 Chevy truck bed, woodwedge, metal frame •
733-2849
395
Goodyear tire P235/75R15 $70 • 818-219-1416396
Hi-performance tires, 195/60R15, on rim for Honda $70 • 818-219-1416
1982 official Chevy light truck shop manual. Great cond $35 • 272-9273 bet
394 8:30am-8:30pm
7’x2’ Flatbed $500 • 728-
394 7687
396
398
37 8:30am-8:30pm
Used tire, 65% tread left $23. P215/65/R17 • 272- 9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only
• 818-571-0659
394
For sale: N. Edwards: 2.5 acres commercial land w/ 60’ Mobile Home, 2wells, 3,000sqft commercial bldg $299K • 824-3333
over 200 houses & con- dos in the Antelope Valley.
944-7171
363
over 200 houses & con- dos in the Antelope Valley. Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. Call us today. Ask for Tony Austin 661-722-5255 or Betty at
393
California City: Residential lot, all utilities $14,900 • 944-7171
Lake LA: 2.5 acres $29,900 • 661-944-7171
Parting out 1977 Ford F150 pick up, complete. Has not run for over 10yrs. No win- dows • 272-9273 bet 8am- 8:30pm only391
Chilton’s repair manual for Mazda cars 1978-89, good cond. Models 323, 626, 929, GLC, MX-6 & RX7 $20 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only352
3333
257
Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. Call us today. Betty at 661-944- 7171
MOBILE HOME
For Sale: Commercial zoned. 2.5acres w/ mobile home & 3000sqft metal bldg in No. Edwards $100,000 • 824-3333336
STORAgE/
SPACE
SeCure Mini STorAGe. $1 moves you in. Selected sizes. Call for details 24hrs Security, Private PO Boxes, No Deposit Required. Units 10’-12’ high not 8’ 661-947-5400 37560 Sierra Hwy Palmdale
WAnTED
TO REnT
Single woman w/ a cat in need of a room to rent in Palmdale. Prior IHHS work- er & can cook & clean •
400 200-8230
SPORTinG
GOOdS
Man’s bike 18spd, 26” tires. Maroon & gray, almost new
394 $80 • 818-219-1416
Used helmet for hockey or football w/ full face guard $15 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-
373 8:30pm only
VEHiClES
ACCESSORIES
New John Deere Gator tires. Size 25x12x9 $40ea • 350-4188400
Bed cover for truck $75 • 225-9693400
2 Lumber racks for big truck $100ea • 225-9693400
1968-72 VW carburator w/ linkage $100 • 522-1832400
Ford Tempo & Mercury Topaz repair manual $20 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm400
Dodge pick up repair manu- al, 1974. 2 & 4wd. V6 & V8, new cond $20 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm400
Repair manual for Chrysler LHS, New Yorker, Intrepid & Eagle Vision • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm400
VW official service manual for Fast & Squareback, 1968-1973 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm400
Free: Small tires & wheels • 256-4904398
Engine stand $30 • 818- 219-1416396
Super ride all season P185/80R13 $35 • 818-219- 1416396
1969 Fisher body service manual, very rare $35. In depth on everything but motor & Trans • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm390
Repair manual for 1984-94 Ford Tempo & Mercury Topaz. Slightly used, good cond $15 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm390
Old chrome V6 metal emblem $19, some pitting maybe from an old International Harvester • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm387
Chilton Toyota truck repair manual from 1970-88. Includes wiring & vacuum diagrams. For Land Cruiser & 4Runner, 4wheel drive & diesel engines • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm only385
Mercedes Benz brakelight lens covers for 1970-1980’s. Disconnected, ready to go. One pair $68 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm377
Repair manual for Dodge full size pick up trucks 1994-96 $21 for 2WD & 4WD, gas & diesel engines • 272-9273 bet 8am- 8:30pm377
13” Dexter rim for very old trailer. Good cond $35 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
Repair manual for basic car- buration & fuel sys $35. The how & why for all things car- burator. Includes smog, emissions, fuel pumps & lines • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm only
373
Chrysler/Dodge/Eagle repair manual 1993-97 $18. Chrysler LHS, Concorde & New Yorker. Also Dodge Intrepid & Eagle Vision. In good shape • 272-9273 bet
37 8:30am-8:30pm
Flywheels for V8 Chevy motors $21. For older chevy motor • 272-9273 bet
MoBile hoMe For SAle! Double wide. 24x65, Aluminum sidings, 2+2, den. New ref range dish- washer, 2 cooler w/ Aircon in the kitchen. Includes all furnitures, Fixtures, TV, appliances & others MUST SEE! 661-256-0868 serious inquiry !!!
16
661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;