Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #605

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Stolen Vienna Sausages Lead To Nursing Home Resident Being Stabbed
By WHIO Staff and WSBTV.com News Staff
TYBEE ISLAND, Ga. — An argument over who stole Vienna Sausages at a Georgia nursing home ended with one man being stabbed.
Investigators say one man accused another of steal- ing his can of Vienna Sausages.
During the argument, one man pulled out a knife and stabbed the other in the
chest. It’s unclear if the man who was stabbed was the one who lost the sausages or not.
The injured resident was taken to the hospital. Information about their condition was not avail- able.
The other resident, whose identity hasn’t been released, was arrested and charged with aggra- vated assault and posses- sion of a knife during the commission of a crime.
A co-worker told John that John’s wife was being unfaithful every- day at 1:30 in the afternoon with John’s best friend.
Worried and hurt, John ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true.
He came back to the office content- ed and relieved.
His co-worker asked him how it went.
“Look,” said John. “Don’t start such terrible rumors!
That guy isn’t my best friend... I don’t even know him.”
A man and his wife check into a hotel
The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed when, suddenly, an ele- vated train pass-
es by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occur- rence, she lies down once more.
Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager.
The manager says he’ll be right up.
The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.
“Look, lie here on the bed and you’ll be thrown right to the floor!”she tells him
So he lies down next to the wife, Just then the hus- band walks in.
“What,” he says, “are you doing here?!”
The manager
calmly replies: “Would you believe I’m wait- ing for a train?”
Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insur- ance company.
Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said,
“We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute.
Insurance doesn’t work quite like that
An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.”
There was a long pause, and then Susan replied,
“If that’s how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my hus- band.”
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine