Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #603

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Man Died After Accidentally Stabbing Himself While Trying To Separate Two Frozen Burger Patties
A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman paint- ing the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day.
Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handy- man why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.
The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. They read: “For best results, put on two coats.”
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application.
Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough.
He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof.
He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has hap- pened.
She replies, “Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!”
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey.
After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "What do you have to say about this experiment?"
He responds by saying, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
One sunny day, two men were sit- ting in a pub drinking pints of lager, when one turned to the other and said: “You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I’m gonna go over there and talk to him”.
So, he went over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, sir,” he start-
ed. “But I noticed you look just like me!”
The second man turned around and said: “Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?”
“I’m from Brisbane,” the man said. Stunned, the sec- ond man said: “Me too! What street do you live on?”
“McCarthy Street.” The sec- ond man replied: “Me too! What number is it?”
The first man said: “162”. The second man replied in shock: “Me too! What are your parents’ names?”
“Bruce and Shannon!”
The second man was awestruck and said: “Mine too! This is unbe- lievable!”
So, they bought another round and continued talking as the bar- tenders changed shifts. The new bartender came in, walked up to his colleague and asked:
“What’s new today?”
“Oh, not much. The Murphy twins are drunk again.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCOvatl4FsA
By Holly Bishop
A man died after acciden- tally stabbing himself while trying to separate two frozen burger patties with a knife, an inquest has heard.
Barry Griffiths, 57, died after he sustained a fatal wound to his stomach.
The 57-year-old lived alone and had been described as a “very pri- vate man”.
An inquest heard that he was found at his flat in Llandrindod Wells, Powys where he lay dead for sev- eral days before later being found by police in a welfare check.
Concerns were raised in July 2023 when Griffiths, who was residing in shared living accommoda- tion, had not been for over a week.
He was found fully clothed and with dried blood on his stomach, whilst blood splatters were found throughout his kitchen and bathroom.
His phone, wallet, and computer had not been touched and there was no sign of a struggle in the first-floor apartment.
It was only when officers found the frozen burger, that they were able to determine what happened.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine