Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #569

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While golfing, I accidentally over- turned my golf cart.
A very attractive female golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out:
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay, thanks,” I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
“Why don’t you come up to my villa, rest for a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”
I noticed her silky bathrobe was par- tially open, reveal- ing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Oh, come on now”, she insist- ed.
She was so pretty and very, very persuasive. I was weak ...
“Well, okay,” I finally agreed, “However, I’m sure my wife won’t like it.”
After a couple of Scotch, I thanked her and said:
“I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile, letting her fall slightly more open.
“Stay for a while, she won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
“Still under the cart, I suppose.”
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jun- gle.
She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he man- aged for lovemak- ing.
“What’s that?” he
asked.
She explained to him what make love was, and he said, “Oh, Tarzan use h*le in trunk of tree.”
Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.”
She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide.
“Here,” she said, pointing, “You must put it in here.”
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp, “Why the hell did you do that?”
“Tarzan check for bees!”
Walmart Shut Down Temporarily By Flaming Toilet Paper
By Brett Campbell
Flaming toilet paper led to the temporary clos- ing of Walmart in Brookhaven Sunday night.
At approximately 7:50 p.m., the Brookhaven Fire Department
responded to a fire at the Brookway Boulevard store.
Chief Jeff Ainsworth said someone had set fire to the toilet paper in one of the bathrooms. Firefighters were on the scene about 45 min-
utes, and there was not a lot of damage caused by the fire, Ainsworth said.
The store was cleared of shop- pers, and remained closed for the evening.
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