Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #548

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
One day, a woman was out golfing when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's OK."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do real- ize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That's OK, because I will be the most beau- tiful woman, and he will have eyes only for me."
So, – she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times rich- er than you."
The woman said, "That's OK because what's mine is his, and what's his is mine."
So,– she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack."
A man hates his wife's cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all.
He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat off there.
As the man approaches his house, the cat is already walking up the driveway.
He decides to
drop the cat forty blocks away the next day, but the same thing hap- pens.
He keeps increas- ing the number of blocks, but the cat keeps on coming home before him!
Frustrated, the man finally decides to drive a few miles away.
He and the cat get in the car and start driving.
Turn right, then left, past the bridge, straight on, then right again, left, and another right, over another bridge, and so on until he reaches what he thinks is a perfect spot.
Feeling confident this time, the man drops the cat there.
A while later, the man calls his wife at home and asks her, "Jen, is the cat there at home?"
“Yes, why do you ask?" answers the wife.
Disgruntled, the man says, "Please put the cat on the phone, Jen! I'm lost, and I desperately need directions!"
International Bath Day Pays Tribute To Archimedes And Creativity In The Tub
By Ben Hooper
June 14 (UPI) -
- International Bath Day, cele- brated annually on June 14, was founded in 2016 to pay tribute to ancient Greek mathematician Archimedes' bath time revelation.
The holiday was added to the National Day Calendar by the website's regis- trar in 2016 to pay tribute to Archimedes' dis- covery that an object's volume could be accu- rately measured by submerging it in water.
Legend has it that Archimedes, born in the year 287 B.C., made his
discovery while sitting in the bathtub and cel- ebrated the reve- lation by running through the streets proclaim- ing, "Eureka, eureka!"
The mathemati- cian's discovery was said to have occurred one week before the start of summer, the date known today as June 14.
The National Day Calendar said the holiday is meant to spark
bath time creativ- ity in children and adults alike.
Other holidays and observances for June 14, 2022, include Call Your Doctor Day, Family History Day, Flag Day, Magic Circles Day, National Bourbon Day, National Strawberry Shortcake Day, Own Your Share of America Day, Pause for the Pledge Day, Pop Goes the Weasel Day, Ryan Moran Day, World Blood Donor Day and World Pet Memorial Day.
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