Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #550

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A crusty old biker walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window, “I want to open a damn checking account.”
The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, Sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?”
“Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account now!”
“I’m very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank.”
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform him of her situation.
The manager agrees that the teller does not have to listen to that sort of lan- guage.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the old biker, “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?”
“There is no damn problem,” the man says. “I just won 50 mil- lion dollars in the
damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!”
“I see,” says the manager, “And is this bitch giving you a hard time?”
A couple went on vacation to a fish- ing resort up north.
The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.
The wife decided to take the boat out.
She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.
Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside and says,
“Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading my book,” she replies as she thinks to herself, “Is he guy blind or what?”
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“But, Officer, I’m not fishing. Can’t you see that?”
“But you have all this equipment, Ma’am. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that I will charge you with rape,” snaps the irate woman.
“I didn’t even touch you,” grous- es the Game Warden.
“Yes, that’s true ... but you have all the equip- ment.”
The trial went on for 4 weeks with testimony by both sides. Finally, the jury retired to determine the verdict.
After 2 days the jury had reached a decision to acquit the prison- er.
Judge: "What possible reason could you have for acquitting the prisoner?"
Foreman: "Insanity, sir."
Judge: "What, all twelve of you?"
Childhood Gift Sparks World's Largest Collectionof 'Power Rangers' Memorabilia
By UPI Staff
July 13 (UPI) -
- A gift to a 10- year-old boy in 1993 became the seed that grew into the largest collection of Power Rangers memo- rabilia in the world.
Michael Nilsen's collection of 9,364 items, including action figures, weapons, books and DVDs, spans 28 sea- sons of
the Power Rangers show and three films, Guinness World
Records said Tuesday.
"It was the coolest show I had ever seen," Nilsen told Guinness World Records of his first time watch- ing the live- action superhero television series in 1993.
The collection began when Nilsen's uncle bought him a Megazord figure from Mighty Morphin Power
Rangers Season 1 for his 10th birthday that year.
At first, Nilsen said, he was "significantly dis- appointed" with the toy.
"It didn't combine or transform as I hoped and it was the smaller ver- sion with shoot- ing fists," he said. "I was so disappointed, I didn't even ask for Power Rangers items for Christmas."
His introduction to a deluxe Megazord toy five months later inspired him to keep looking at what
other Power Rangers toys were available.
"It combined and transformed, just like in the show," Nilsen said. "It was incredible. I didn't think they made such a thing."
Today, Nilsen's collection, which was counted before this year's release of Power Rangers: Dino Fury Season 29 on Netflix, includes a spe- cial edition Soul of Chogokin Megazord valued it up to $400 and the complete col- lection of the "World's Smallest" Power Rangers action figures.
"Whatever you can think of, I probably have it," Nilsen said.
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