Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #589

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A farmer decided he wanted to go into town to see a movie.
As he was stand- ing in line for a ticket, the ticket agent says to him. “Sir, what’s that on your shoul- der?”
“Well,” said the farmer, “this here’s my pet rooster, Chuck. I never go any- where without Chuck.”
“Sir, I’m sorry,” the ticket agent responds, “but we don’t allow any animals in the auditorium.”
Now the farmer is a wily old opera- tor, and he knows how to work around a problem.
So, he disappears around the corner and stuffs the rooster down his overalls. Then he returns to the tick- et booth, buys a ticket, and walks off to take his seat.
On this occasion, he’s seated next to two old women, Maude and Daisy.
The movie starts and naturally the rooster begins to get restless. So, the old farmer unbuttons his fly so Chuck could stick his head out to watch the movie.
“Daisy,” says Maude, whisper- ing.
“What is it, Maude?” Daisy responds.
“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”
“What makes you think so?” Daisy asks.
“He just undid his pants, and he’s got his thing out,” whispers Maude. “So, why worry?” Daisy responds, “at your age, it’s not like you haven’t seen one before. When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”
“Well, that’s what I thought,” Maude responded, “but this one’s eating my popcorn.“
Two women are walking down the
street when a mugger approach- es them and demands their money.
They both grudg- ingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then, the woman turns to the other and hands her a bill.
“Here’s that $20 I owe you,” she says.
A lady goes in to take a tennis les- son, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip.
After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says “OK, just grip it like you do your husband’s member”.
After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line.
The instructor says, “Wow that’s great. Now just try taking the racket out of your mouth.”
Highly Venomous Snake Found Among Hanging Clothes In Child's Closet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuGGFVDwkPk
By Ben Hooper
Feb. 28 (UPI) -
- An Australian reptile catcher responded to a Queensland home where a resident found a venomous snake slithering across the clothes hang- ing in a closet.
Tim Hudson, owner of Hudson Snake Catching, posted a video to Facebook show- ing the scene he
encountered when he arrived at the home in Tallebudgera Valley home.
Hudson found a small-eyed snake, a highly venomous species, slither- ing across the clothes hanging in a closet.
"What the hell are you doing up there?" Hudson says in the video. "Up in the
clothes, that is crazy."
Hudson said he was called to the home by a resi- dent who spotted the snake inside the child's closet.
The snake catch- er told 7News he had never seen a small-eyed snake hiding out in hanging clothes before, but the reptiles "do have climb- ing abilities."
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine