Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #549

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Having been play- ing outside with his friends, a small boy came into the house and asked: “Grandma, what is it called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?”
His grandma was surprised to hear such a forthright question from a six-year-old but decided to answer as hon- estly as she could. “Well,” she said hesitantly, “it’s called sexual intercourse.” “Oh, okay;’ said the boy and he ran outside to carry on playing with his friends.
A few minutes later, he came back in and said angrily:
“Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called bunk beds ...
And Jimmy’s mum would like a word with you!!”
A man and his wife are dis- cussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.
“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a ten-dol- lar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the cof- fee table.
“If he takes the money, he’ll be a
banker. If he takes the whiskey, he’ll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible, that means he’ll be a preacher.”
So the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door, and watch from where they’re hiding.
The boy saunters over to the coffee table. He picks up the ten-dollar bill, looks at it, then sets it down. He picks up the bottle of whiskey, uncorks it, sniffs it, then sets it down. He picks up the Bible, leafs through it, and sets it down.
Then the boy takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket, grabs the whiskey, and walks off with the Bible under his arm.
“Well, how do you like that!” exclaims the father...he’ll be a politician
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog.
His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.
Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would
ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pes- simist who refused to be impressed with anything.
This, surely, would impress him.
He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell.
The dog respond- ed and jumped into the water. The dog, howev- er, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the sur- face of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home, the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“I sure did,” responded the pessimist.
“He can’t swim.”
WomanMistakenlyAccepts‘Gift’ FromFairiesandApparently They’re Ruining Her Life
By Diana Logan
This was a big “oops.”
I think if there’s one lesson of value to take from fairy tales, as a body of work, it’s to beware of gifts from fairies, because they come with some powerful strings attached. Whether that is a promise to pro- vide your first born child or the danger of anger- ing the enough to turn the gift into a curse, there are rea- sons that folklore experts claim that inviting fairies into your life (indeed, interacting with them at all) is something that should only be done under extreme caution and with plenty of protective measures in place. But this young mom did- n’t do that, and now, unfortu- nately, she is paying the price.
In this
video, TikToker Chantel
North shares the way her life has been altered since finding and accepting an unknown “gift” a month earlier. Apparently, she found an acorn cap with a mys- terious crystal embedded inside of it. Though she was advised at the time by view- ers on her TikTok channel not to accept the gift but rather to bury it and avoid it, she ignored them. Ever since, she reports, things in her house have
been a touch sketchy. (Actually, what she says is, “S*** has been f***** up.”)
Though she doesn’t go into details about the kinds of hard- ships she has experienced, she did specify that the fairies she has apparently been inviting in to her house have been speaking to her child in her room, teaching her to fly and asking them to come with her.
Time for some wards, lady.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine