Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #448

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attack than the British or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attack than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drinks a lot of beer and eats lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is appar- ently what kills you.
An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to begin. In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process took place, each side hotly
contesting and dis- missing potential jurors.
One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question session.
He was asked, "Property holder?"
Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Then he was asked, "Married or single?"
Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opin- ion?"
Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous des- tinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the win- dow gave him a feeling of generosi- ty.
He called them into his shop and said, "I have a surprise for you. I am send- ing you off to a fab-
ulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tick- ets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holi- day?" he asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puz- zled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
A young woman greeted the census taker. “Good morn- ing,” said the caller, “I’m taking the cen- sus and I’d like to ask you a few questions. Occupation?”
“Homemaker,” replied the woman.
“Husband’s occu- pation?”
“Manufacturer.” “Children?”
“No,” said the woman. “Dresses.”
North Carolina Restaurant Serving Up ‘Tarantula Burger’
By Elizabeth Tyree, WSET
DURHAM, N.C. (WSET) - For whatever rea- son, a Durham, N.C. restaurant is serving up a burger that would make anyone with arachnophobia scream.
Bull City Burger and Brewery is serving up the “tarantula burg-
er.”
They said it's for Exotic Meat Month, but the only way to get ahold of the eight-legged beef sandwich is by winning the Tarantula Challenge, meaning you have to sign up for a lottery.
The burger costs $30 and includes a pas-
ture-raised North Carolina beef-burger, gruyere cheese, an oven-roasted tarantula and spicy chili sauce.
You can sign up for the limited challenge in the restaurant.
If you eat the entire burger, you get a free t- shirt
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