Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #615

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Overdue Book Returned To New Jersey Library After 99Years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqdHc3BQCr
By Ben Hooper
March 10 (UPI) -- An 81- year-old woman going through boxes of her mother's belongings made a surprising discovery: an overdue library book checked out by her grand- father 99 years earlier.
Berkeley Township resi- dent Mary Cooper said she was going through a box of items that had belonged to her mother when she came across the book, Home-Made Toys for Girls and Boys by A. Neely Hall, and discov- ered it had been borrowed from the Ocean County Library in March 1926.
Cooper learned her grand- father, Charles Tilton, had been the one to check the book out one year before he died.
"I thought, I don't have grandchildren, and my kids are getting older. Even if my son took it, I didn't know what they'd do with it," Cooper told CNN. "I figured it belongs to the library."
The Ocean County Library said the book's return comes at a serendipitous time, as the library system is celebrating its 100th anniversary this year.
Librarians said the facility no longer imposes late fees, but they jokingly esti- mated it would have racked up about $18,000 in fees over the past 99 years.
The book has a new per- manent home in a glass display case at the Ocean County Library's branch in Toms River.
An elderly couple goes to a divorce lawyer saying they want to end their marriage.
The lawyer looks at the man and says “how old are you?”. He replies “I am 98 years old”
“And you, ma’am?”he asks the wife. She replies “I am 94 years old”
“And how long have you two been married?”
The man replied “75 years”
The lawyer paus- es and asks “and why now, why get divorced after all these years?”
The man says “we wanted to wait until the chil- dren died”
A lady comes home from her doctor's appoint- ment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old."
"Oh yeah?" quipped her hus- band, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
A worldwide sur- vey was conduct- ed by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
In Africa they did- n't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "short- age" meant.
In China they did- n't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."
The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.
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