Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #583

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
John hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spend- ing the rest of my life,
between the legs of my wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife,
Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”
She said, “What was your toast?’
John said: “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sit- ting in church beside my wife.”
“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said ...
She said “He told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years.
Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!”
He asked the preacher if he could participate in the door-to- door selling of bibles.
The preacher agreed, but know- ing the young man had a bad stutter, only gave him 3 bibles to sell.
The following day the young man returned asking for more.
The preacher gave him another 5 bibles.
The following day the preacher gave him another 10.
By the end of the week, the young man broke the church's all time record for the highest number of bibles sales in one week.
The preacher believed that divine intervention had occurred
He was dumb- founded and had to know the young man's secret.
So the preacher asked the young man how he was able to sell so many bibles in such a short amount of time.
The young man smiled and said,
“I asked th-th- them if th-th-they wanted to b-b-buy a bible or have m- m-me read it to th-th-them.”
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.
The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey Billy, want to play house?”
He said, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
Sally replied, “I want you to com- municate your feelings.”
“Communicate my feelings?” said a bewildered Billy.
“I have no idea what that means.”
The little girl nods and says, “Perfect
You can be the husband”.
Drought Conditions Blamed For Pink Pond In Hawaii
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi91cIrEBo4
By Ben Hooper
Nov. 10 (UPI) -
- A pond in Hawaii is draw- ing attention due to its unusual pink color, and experts said it could be the result of recent drought condi- tions.
Maui residents said they noticed in recent
days that Kealia Pond had turned an unusual pink and purple hue.
"I just happened
to drive by and I was like, 'It's like Pepto Bismol pink,'" Travis Morrin told Hawaii News now.
Morrin captured drone footage of the pond, which quickly went viral on Instagram.
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service con- firmed the water has been pink for nearly two weeks. Officials said the color change is
believed to be the result of halobacteria found in waters with high salinity, and the pond's salt content has recently gone undiluted by rain as the result of drought condi- tions.
The water is not believed to be toxic, but sam- ples have been sent to the University of Hawaii for fur- ther testing.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine