Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #574

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A young woman goes to her boyfriend’s par- ent’s house for Thanksgiving din- ner.
This is to be her first time meeting his family, and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine Thanksgiving meal.
The young lass is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the beans.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit, and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed
Her boyfriend’s father looked over at the family dog that had been snoozing at the young woman’s
feet and said in a rather stern voice,
“Charlie!”
The young woman thought to herself, “This is great!” and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of min- utes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she did- n’t even hesitate.
She let a much louder and longer one squeal.
The father again looked at the dog and growled,
“Get out from under the table!”
Once again the young lady smiled and thought, “Yes!”
A few minutes later our petite heroine had to let another one free.
She let go a blast that rivaled a train whistle blowing!
Once again, the father looked at the dog with dis- gust, and yelled,
“Move Charlie before she shats on you!
The husband comes home and worried because he has a scratch on his chest caused by a fin- gernail from his mistress,
opens the door seeing the cat asleep on the couch, gives him a tremendous kick.
The cat “screams” a loud meow and runs out the door.
The wife comes in the living room and asks what happened and he angrily replied:
“This cat seems crazy, I was walk- ing in and, just like that, he jumped on me and scratched me in the chest.”
“Look at that hell of a scratch!”
The woman replied:
You did very well, today this fool has bitten my a***s and gave me one hell of a hickey on my neck.
Dogs, Owner Escape Charging Bear In New Jersey Backyard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuNQNDZxJQg&t=38s
By Ben Hooper
July 6 (UPI) -- A New Jersey cou- ple's security camera captured footage of the tense moment their dogs narrowly escaped a black bear by darting through the door.
Joseph Damiani of Annandale said he heard his dogs barking outside so he went to the back porch to investi- gate.
"I hear a bunch of 'woof, woof, woof,'" he told WCBS-TV. "The dogs shoot right past me and then I see the bear."
Damiani said the dogs made it
inside, leaving him to watch from outside as the bear "tried to charge into the house."
Shirley Perlinsky, Damiani's girl- friend, tried to lock the door, but the bear's shov- ing left her strug- gling to hold the door closed.
"I just tried to lock the door, but I couldn't because the door got caught in the leash. So I was fighting, I was fighting the bear. The bear was pushing the door this way, I was pushing the door that way," Perlinsky said.
Perlinsky, who posted the secu- rity camera
footage of the incident to Facebook, said she knew Damiani was still outside with the bear.
"That's my boyfriend, and I love him very much, but I couldn't let the bear inside my house," she said.
Damiani was able to run around the house to come in the front door.
The couple said wildlife officials told them the bear was likely lured to their yard by their birdfeeders. They said the feeders have now been emptied.
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