Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #607

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Dozens of Hungry Raccoons Take Over Washington Woman's Property
By Ben Hooper
Oct. 9 (UPI) -- A Washington woman who has been feeding the rac- coons near her home for 35 years ended up calling the authorities when she found her home surround- ed by nearly 100 of the animals.
The Poulsbo woman told Kitsap County Sheriff's Office deputies she has been giving food to rac- coons near her home for about 35 years, and about six weeks ago dozens of the animals suddenly showed up on her proper- ty.
"The woman says the rac- coons often surround her day and night demanding food," a sheriff's spokesman said in a
video posted to social media. "And she says she's been quoted prices as high as $500 per rac- coon to trap and relocate them."
Deputies referred the woman to the Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife, which put her in touch with local wildlife control operators to remove the raccoons.
"Feeding raccoons may create undesirable situa- tions for you, your chil- dren, neighbors, pets, and the raccoons themselves. Raccoons that are fed by people often lose their fear of humans and may become aggressive when not fed as expected," the Department of Fish and Wildlife's website states.
When a trick went wrong, an ama- teur magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two children into armchairs. He tried every- thing he knew to reverse the trick but when all attempts failed, he took them to a hospital.
He paced up and down in casualty for hours until finally a junior doctor came out to see him.
“My wife is a couch and my two children are armchairs,” said the magician. “I need to know how they’re doing.”
The doctor glanced at his notes and said, “They’re comfort- able.”
An investment banker decides she needs in- house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Cohen," she says, "would you say you’re hon- est?"
"Honest?" replies Mr. Cohen. "Let me tell you some- thing about hon- esty. My father lent me $75,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
"Dad sued me for the money."
Teacher: "You are the only one in the entire class who makes so many mistakes in the homework assignment."
Student: "That is not true, I am not the only one. My parents are involved in this as well!"
The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I see you have put 'ASAP' down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you've put 'AMAP' down for
required salary. I don't believe I've ever seen that before, what does it mean?"
The applicant replied, "As much as possible!"
A man was very much in love with a woman. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he ordered twenty- one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was prepar- ing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never found out what made his girl- friend so angry with him.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine