Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #547

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An old man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-look- ing homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. He took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,
“If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the home- less man replied. “Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said.
“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” “Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the home- less man.
“I haven’t gone hunting in 20
years!”
“Well,” the old man said,
“I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?
The old man replied,
“Don’t worry about that. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fish- ing and hunting.”
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal ill- ness was deter- mined to prove the saying about money,
“you can’t take it with you”, wrong:
After much thought and con-
sideration, the man finally fig- ured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and with- draw enough money to fill two pillowcases.
Then, he directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them direct- ly above his bed. His plan was to reach out and grab the bags when he was ascending to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife was up in the attic cleaning and came upon the two pillowcases stuffed with cash.
“Oh, that darned old fool,” she exclaimed.
“I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”
103-year-old Swedish Woman Becomes World's Oldest Skydiver
By Ben Hooper
May 31 (UPI) -
- A Swedish woman broke a Guinness World Record when she went tandem skydiving at the age of 103.
Ruth Larsson, who took her first skydiving trip at the age of 101, returned to the same skydiving
business outside Motala on Sunday
and jumped out ofaplaneat2 p.m.
A Guinness adju- dicator was on hand to confirm that Larsson earned the record for oldest tandem para- chute jump (female).
The previous
record holder, Kathryn Hodges, was 103 years and 129 days old when she jumped out of a plane in 2019.
Larsson was 2 years old when Axel Raoul Thornblad became the first Swede to make a parachute jump in 1920.
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