Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #578

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
One evening, after the honeymoon, Bob was working on his Harley motorcycle in the garage.
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage.
You probably should consider selling your Harley and all that welding equipment; they take up so much of your time.
And that gun collec- tion and fishing gear, they just take up so much space.
And you know the boat is such an ongo- ing expense; and you hardly use it.
I also think you should lose all those stupid model air- planes and your home brewing equip- ment."And what’s the use of that vintage hot rod sports car?
Bob got a horrified look on his face.
She noticed and said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "You were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!?" she shouted, "YOU
NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MAR- RIED BEFORE!"
Bob replied, “I was- n't..."
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks,
“What happened?”
His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist.
He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,...
“IdonotHavea Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache. It Worked! The headaches are all gone.”
The husband replies, “Well, that is wonder- ful.”
His wife then says,
“You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”
The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment,
The husband comes
home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He Puts her on The bed and says,
“Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
He goes into The Bathroom and comes back.
A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”
The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”
He goes back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”
With That, He goes back in the bath- room.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom, She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
“She’s not my Wife. She’s Not my wife. She’s not my wife...”
His funeral services will be held on Friday.
Gorham Mill Spins Animal Fur Into Roving And Yarn
By Katie Sampson, WGME
GORHAM (WGME) -- Imagine making a sweater or hat out of your pet's fur.
UnderHill
Fibers in Gorham offers that opportunity, turning animal fibers into roving and yarn for knit- ting.
There's no short- age of animals at the working farm, so there's no shortage of material for Jenny Smith's business.
"I had sheep, they kept making lots of wool," says Smith, "it was too nice to just throw out."
She started by hand, then upgraded to spe- cial equipment to streamline the process.
"2-4 days for the wool to dry, need
anoth-
er day to card it into roving and depending on how big of a yarn run, one day to a week to get it spun and then I've got to ply it and cone it, so week, one to two weeks," says Smith.
Her business now focuses on other people's material, whether it's farm animals or pets.
"Small individual hobby farmers or small crafters who want to have their own sheep products to go to fairs and festivals to sell their own stuff," Smith says.
For pet owners, it can be very personal.
"Usually it's an animal they've lost or had a long time," Smith says, "So some- times they do get emotional."
Smith's mother
Cynthia
helps with the business too.
"This mill kind of fell into her lap when a friend of hers she met through a spin- ning group decided to retire and said I want to sell my mill to you," Cynthia says, "she want- edtokeepitin the state of Maine."
So the family made it happen.
"We got the building here and the mill equip- ment in here and she's been busy ever since," Cynthia says.
As Smith's pas- sion for her work continues to grow, so does demand for her services.
"There's wool up in the loft waiting to be processed because there's such a backlog of people want- ing their fiber done."
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine