Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #619

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Kindergartener Brought Jell-O Shots So school, Gave Them Out To Students
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUS2u05_EAg
By Mary Walrath- Holdridge, USA Today
A Pennsylvania school has launched an investigation after it said a kinder- gartener brought Jell-O shots to class.
The Greater Johnstown School District said in a statement shared to social media on Wednesday, May 14, that the student had given out alcohol in the form of "small jello shots" to three other stu- dents.
Calling it an "isolated inci- dent," the press release signed by Superintendent Dr. Amy D. Arcurio said "immediate action was taken" when staff became aware of the incident and the affected students were evaluated by the school
nurse. Emergency medical services transported the students to a local hospital "out of an abundance of caution," where their par- ents were able to meet them.
The statement said that the shots were confiscated and local authorities are working with the school to determine how the student obtained them.
"We want to assure our families that the health and well-being of our stu- dents is our top priority. Counselors and support staff will be available for any students who may need assistance process- ing today's events," the statement said.
Jim, Bill and Mike are three friends who go for a walk in the countryside and come to a wide and raging river.
Naturally, they need to cross, but they have no idea how to make the crossing success- fully.
Jim, as a believer in God, immedi- ately prays to God. He pub- lished a guide titled “Please God give me the strength to cross this raging river.
Suddenly a POOF sound is heard and Jim’s arms and legs transform into powerful limbs, allowing him to swim across the river in less than an hour.
Seeing this, Bill also decides to pray. “Please God, give me the strength and abili- ty to cross this raging river easier than swimming”.
Suddenly a POOF is heard and Bill has a canoe in front of him, allowing him to paddle up the river in less than 30 minutes.
Mike, who has
witnessed the events so far and seen how things are going, also decides to pray. “Oh God, please give me the strength, ability and intelligence to cross this raging river in the easi- est way.”.
Suddenly a POOF sound is heard and Mike transforms into a woman. He checks his map, walks 100 meters along the river bank and crosses over the bridge.
Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insur- ance company. Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said,
“We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that
An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.” There was a long pause, and then
Susan replied,
“If that’s how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my hus- band.”
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads,
“Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00.”
Checking his wal- let for the neces- sary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptional- ly attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
“Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, “Can I help you?”
“I was wonder- ing,” whispers the man, “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”
“Yes,” she purrs, “I am.”
The man replies, “Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”
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